I have an untitled word document I wrote a long time ago. I discovered it today as I was clearing out my hard drive. It went like this:
They say you can never tell what is really going on in people's lives until they tell you. I had a friend that said she hid her face with a hood, blocked out the dying world with loud music and wore heavy eye makeup because she couldn't handle letting anyone in to help, couldn't share her feelings and look people in the eyes for fear that they could see the sadness behind her own. At least there were some clues she left behind, some evidence of her true self.
Another told me people just do it for attention, that depression is just a mind set, a scam for companies to make money from their addiction and instability. It's simply a phase. They'll get over it.
If only I knew.
There was a boy I met. His rich dark eyes seemed to only be filled with happiness at first. We talked, on and on into the nights. Millions of messages, chats, information, and laughter is all there seemed to be. I was happy because he made me so. There was something off, though. I felt it deep down inside my heart. As time passed this tiny little bit of strangeness I could not quite pin-point upset me. There was nothing wrong, nothing to explain it, but it made me act differently too. I got angry and sad for no reason and blamed it on him. Him, his behaviour, something- was confusing.
I lost my way through my own mind and into his, and soon I did a whole lot of things I now regret. Finally, he let me in. He broke down into tears one night and let me in through a window inside his head. I saw why this had happened, and I understood. Even now that things have supposedly changed, it seems as though it never happened at all. He pushed me away- we're now disconnected, leaving me as confused as before.
Maybe he thought it was for the best.
Maybe it was a mistake. I fell for him the way everybody else did; by being mislead.
Maybe he never meant to show me his true colours?
Maybe he never wanted it to turn out this way?
Maybe he thought "Some things are better left uncovered"
Maybe he thought "Some documents are better left untitled"?
...Just like this one.
