Life is a struggle to find balance.
There isn't always symmetry to things - maybe you fall in love when the timing isn't right, maybe you leave just before they make it to the party.. Relationships aren't simple math, there's all kinds of unknown quantities and it doesn't always add up right. It's complex, complicated shit and we have to work through it as best we can. No more, no less.
It's a process, remember that. You have your ups and your downs - the nights where you feel like the world has shifted just enough to show you that you can do it; then it's morning after you dreamed that dream and you feel like you're back to square one. Learn what you can from it, dust yourself off and try again. It's hard. It's what you have to do to get back into the world. One brick at a time. There's no need to rush - it can feel like there is but it's just time playing its tricks. I find myself going through things in little bursts - happiness, sadness, optimism, doubt, fear, love. It's all valid. I think it's important not to beat yourself up about what you're feeling, it makes it so much worse when you're not on your side. Let things slide a bit, we aren't designed for perfection.
Number three on the list especially spoke to me - that I think is step one and also the final step, to get to a place where that's no longer true. Then you're ready for whatever comes your way after that.
Keep dreaming, keep your eyes open.
