Dear Future Girlfriend of the Man I Love,
I just wanted to write you a few things about him. Please follow these instructions carefully, because I can no longer do so.
Be careful what you say to him. If he trusts you enough to tell you his shortcomings, to ask for help or encouragement, then it means he values your words. Even the most flippant comments will have a profound effect on him. He will take your every suggestion to heart and ponder it quietly for a long time, and never forget it. So be sure to build him up when he comes to you for help. Do not criticize or make fun of him, ever. To him, your word is truth. Tell him good truths.
Admire him, and tell him how amazing he is. His family doesn't do that often enough, and he has had many hard blows to his self-esteem in the past. More than anything, he needs someone he loves to look up to him and think he is capable.
He will want to share the things he loves with you. They will be silly things, sometimes. They will be nerdy and passionate and sometimes just plain confusing. Go along with it. Be excited with him. Let him take your hand and point things out to you, because that's his way of saying he loves you. These things, these passions, are his world - and he doesn't share them with many people. But he wants to share it with you. Cherish this. And even if you don't understand, content yourself with watching him light up like a child. It is a precious sight not seen by many.
Most of all, accept him for who he is. Don't try to change him, or fix him, or make him better. Just love him for who he is. He is not perfect, and his flaws haunt him. He won't tell you this right away, but he is afraid of abandonment. You must show him that you won't walk away, no matter what he decides to reveal to you. That is going to be more valuable to him than anything else.
And if you can't do all these things, dear Future Girlfriend of the Man I Love, if you can't accept him and comfort him and be gentle with him and tell him that he is amazing even when he gets annoying and petty, then leave now. If you can't promise to be there until the end of time, if you can't promise that you won't walk away, then give him to someone who can.
I hope you are special, whoever you are. I hope you are everything he needs. I wish I were.
Sincerely,
The Woman He Moved On From
