Ray Of Sunshine

Chapter 27: The Hard Stuff

So, of course Jack and Jenny want to know EVERYTHING. They want me to spill the tea, and give them every little detail, but I'm not. I'm not giving everything away. I don't even know what this is between me and Michael, so they don't need to know much, just that me and Michael had a moment. They both knew it would happen sooner or later anyway; they called it right from the start.

Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it after all, because now the conversation is going to constantly be about me and Michael, and probably for the rest of the night too.

"I thought you said you were done with messin around?" Jack says, before popping a meatball in his mouth.

"Huh?" I say, twirling some spaghetti around my fork.

"When we went out a couple weeks ago, you told me you've had enough of having "fun", and that you want something serious with someone; a relationship."

"Yeah..." I nod, and look down at my carbonara. "I do want that."

"So, what's the deal with Michael?"

"I don't know." I shrug one shoulder. "I've got to know him over the last few months, and he's got to know me too. We've had some meaningful conversations, and we're both attracted to each other. We actually have some things in common, and I relate to him and his daughter a lot."

"So, what's gonna happen now?" Jenny asks.

"I'm not sure..." I shake my head.

"You're both going to continue fucking each other, until one of you says 'I love you'." Jack smirks.

I widen my eyes and laugh.

"I don't think so."

"Yeah, but you work for him, so how will that work?" Jenny makes a face. "And what about his kid? It's not like you two can be in a relationship, and hold hands around the house."

"It's complicated, I know." I sigh. "I don't really know what's happening with me and Michael, but I know I don't want to upset Jessie, and I think if she found out about me and Michael, it would upset her. I'm her nanny, and the last thing I want is to hurt her; that's not what I'm supposed to do, and I wouldn't be very good at my job if that happened."

"Yeah..." Jack frowns.

"Mm..." Jenny nods. "I guess she sees you as a friend, and if she saw you and Michael together, it would confuse her."

"I think so too." I agree. "And she hasn't seen Michael with anyone else, expect her mom. It would be upsetting to see her dad with another woman. The poor girl has already been through a lot."

"Damn, it really is complicated." Jack makes a face. "What would happen if Jessie found out? Do you think Michael would have to let you go?"

I pause for a second. I actually haven't thought about that...

"Um... I-I don't know?" I lower my eyebrows. "I guess it would make things awkward, and very difficult if I stayed. I guess he would have to get a new nanny?"

I don't like that thought of that at all. I haven't even thought about the consequences of this; not properly anyway.

"What, you think Michael would just let you go like that?" Jenny frowns. "He should take responsibility for his actions too."

"I don't have any answers." I laugh softly. "I really don't know. At the end of the day, that's his daughter, and he's always going to put her first. My job being her nanny, is to put her first too."

"What if he wanted you to stay?" Jack raises an eyebrow.

"Well... then I guess I would stay? Look you guys, I really don't know." I chuckle. "It doesn't even need to come to that. Jessie doesn't need to find out, and she won't."