It comes and goes

twenty-seven

Camila's POV

When I woke up I was no longer on the sofa, I was on my bed, with my pijama on. I guess I was so tired that I didn't even noticed when Shawn brought me here and changed my clothes.

My chest felt weird after all the crying and I could still feel some tears on my face. I had had a full breakdown today and I felt exhausted. I turned around and I saw Shawn next to me, laying on his back and his hands behind his head.

"Shawn?", I whispered very low because I didn't want to wake him up in case he was sound asleep.

"Yes?", he said right away.

I didn't say anything and just laid on his chest. His heart was beating fast and I realized I hadn't even checked on him today. It was an eventful day for both of us.

"How did it go?", I asked him. "The inauguration".

"Um... it was good", he said unimpressed.

"Baby", I said sitting up and looking at his face. "I'm so sorry I didn't go... I couldn't, I..."

"I know", he cut me off and didn't say any other word.

I needed to know how he felt but I was terrified of his reaction. He had been so good to me earlier, but that could've been just the shock talking. I braved myself because I always was the one talking about having an open communication.

"Shawn, how are you?"

"I'm good", he said

His tone was flat, unemotional. I couldn't just believe he was actually good when he said it like that.

"How are you?", I asked again and he finally opened his eyes to look at me.

The room was dark but my eyes had got used to the darkness and I could see a bit of his face and his eyes shining.

"I told you", he replied. "I'm fine".

I sighed. He was doing it again, keeping his feelings to himself.

"Don't just say that", I complained. "Tell what you think, how you feel. Tell me if you're mad, or scare, or happy. Talk to me".

"Like you did to me?", he asked me and caught me by surprise.

"I told you when I could, I didn't want ro ruin your event", I explained.

"But you knew before that something was wrong. What if it wasn't the pregnancy, what if it had been something bad? I had no clue you had gone to the doctor", he told me and put his hands down to sat on the bed and bring his body up and lay his back on the wall. "I went crazy when you didn't show up and when I saw you crying... I imagined the worse".

"I'm sorry", I managed to say trying to contain my tears, I didn't want to cry no more.

"Stop saying that and start talking to me", he demanded. "Just like you want me to".

"What do you want me to say? I've told you everything".

"How far along are you?"

"5 or 6 weeks"

"Do you want to keep it?"

"Do you want to keep it?", I said back.

"As far as I want to have a say in this, I don't. It's your body and you make the decision".

"I'm not sure", I said looking down.

He took my hand and pulled me to his body to hug me. I felt so safe in his arms. He kissed my head and then ran his fingers through my hair.