It comes and goes

twenty-two

Shawn's POV

"We have two options here", Dr. Kholi said looking over his glasses at us.

My heart was beating really fast and my palms were sweating. Please, let them be good news, please.

"According to the last exams, the chemo has finally had some effect on the tumor and it shrank a little, which makes us believe that it would be easier to remove it completely this time. The edges look clearer now", he explained and my dad and I nodded silently, still on the edge. "Or we could do another round of chemo in couple of months and I'm sure we could have great results. It's up to you now".

My dad was dead silent and his poker face told me nothing of what he was feeling or what he wanted to do.

"Dad?", I asked softly but he didn't move. "Doctor Kholi", I said taking this thing in my own hands. "What would you recommend?"

"Well... You have the last say in this. Personally, I'd rather do the surgery and try to remove the cancer one and for all than wait. Chemo would be safer for sure, because we can't always predict what will happen in the OR, but I can assure we'll try our best in there".

"What kind of risks does the surgery have?".

"There are a lot, as with any procedure. We have an idea of how the tumor looks now but we can't be sure until we open him up. It can be messier than we expect it to be and there can be complications while we are there".

I swallowed my nerves. My dad had already suffered enough with the chemo and I knew it was risky to take the surgery now, but I couldn't wrap my head around what the better option could be.

"I'll have the surgery", my dad said out of the blue.

"Are you sure?", I asked him.

"Even when I'm suggesting the surgery, I want you two to be aware of the possible complications and risks of this procedures. I'd advice you to take some time and let me know when you're ready".

"No need for that, doctor", my dad said. "I've already made up my mind".

"Alright. Then we'll schedule a day and time and I'll make sure to gather the best time for you Mr. Mendes. The hospital will be in contact with you when we have an available spot".

"Are you really sure?", I asked my dad when we were leaving Dr. Kohli's office.

"Son... I'm too tired to keep doing this", he smiled. "I want to get over this quickly. I don't wanna waste more time".

I was terrified of the outcome but my dad was a stubborn man and if he had decided that he was having this surgery, then that was it. We drove back to his place and he sat on the living room. I wish he wouldn't act so tough around people and would actually let us take care of him, but I guess that's a quality I also inherited.

Classes had returned at college and Camila and Gina drove together to come see my dad. We explained to them what the doctor had said and Gina held his hand with sympathy.

"How are you feeling?", Camila asked me when we were in the kitchen.

I thought of just going with a safe answer, but I had done that before and had had an explosive outcome.

"I'm... scared. The doctor said there are a lot of risks... Chemo would be a but safer but he doesn't want to wait", I whispered.

She wrapped her arms around me and I held her close. The warmth of her body radiated through mine and made my heart feel a bit better.