messy sketchbooks

satisfaction or submissive?

you weren't going to let kylo charm his way out of making you ugly cry for the whole evening. if he wanted to apologise, he had to mean it. the little caress of your inner thigh, the palm that rested on the side of your neck or the hand slotting comfortably into yours wasn't going to distract you from getting an 'i'm sorry' falling out of his soft, plush lips.

you felt sick at the fact that you exposed your inner demons to him, put your heart on a platter for his judgement, and in return, were made to leave after spending your first time together. you should be hating his entire being right now, but you still craved him. the way he smelt as he pressed against your body, the stare that permeated through your walls as his hazel roasted eyes somewhat glared at every nerve within your body. you could still taste the delightful treats he made you while walking barefoot on his marble floors, dressed in his sleepwear t shirt that hanged low at your knees. the silk sheets that encompassed you in warmth and security. you even felt that overwhelming feeling you were taken over by as your silver heels first went over the threshold of his apartment. everything reminded you of him, songs on the radio, food in the fridge, you couldn't escape the way he made you observe the world after he entered it. he consumed you. every thought, every minute, every heartbeat.

8:00 am

you had an hour before you would be in the same room as him. breathing the same air, sitting on the same couch, trying desperately not to rip each others clothes off as you imagined. you wanted to impress him. after all, he was your boss (technically) so why not make him squirm over your appearance for a change? you decided on another little black dress, just reaching your mid thigh, a small slit clung around your right leg. paired with thigh high boots, you were sure to grab his attention. after all, you knew how to get men to gawk at your appearance. you had one more trick up your sleeve that you thought about while applying a deep rouge to your smirking lips in the mirror. finishing off the outfit with a mens suit jacket, the seduction you wanted was still going to be cold on the train ride to work, so you thought you'd better bundle up. grabbing your regular tote bag, you snuck into rey's room before leaving to place a small goodbye kiss on her forehead.

early, again. you stopped by finn for your regular morning coffee. your outfit caught his attention, practically jumping up and down behind the counter, he was surely your number one fan.

"honey, honey, honeyyyyy! well you have not come to play today. regular latte?"

his mouth left popped open to your exterior. who knew you could scrub up so well, and for work? usually work clothes made you uncomfortable at how preppy you had to dress. but today you were soaking in the elegance. almost forgetting you were only an intern, your confidence made you feel like you ran the god damn company.

"you know me so well"

grabbing your latte and leaving a tip in the tip jar like you always did, you could feel people staring at you. stepping into the elevator, men were asking you what floor, eyes never leaving your body, giving each other looks to signify that you caught their attention. as the doors opened to the fifth floor, you knew where you were heading. not needing poe to tell you he was here, something deep inside you could already sense his presence. reaching the handle, and pulling down without a second thought. your guard was up, his charms defenceless now, or so you hoped?

you were shocked to see him pacing, feet coming to a halt as he saw you walk in and close the door behind you. his eyes wandered up and down your body, eyes never taking a breath to blink, like he was afraid you were a mirage in his dreams that would disappear with any movement his lids made. he held two coffee's in his hand, extending the arm of his left, before eyes sinking at the sight that you were already holding your own.