messy sketchbooks

promises, promises and more promises

you couldn't move, your knees starting to become red raw from kneeling for what you felt was a split second but was actually more like two hours. rose's body was taken away to hospital and admitted into the ER. you couldn't stop staring at the pool of blood that was slowly staining the floorboards in front of you, the faint smell of her perfume still lingered and the whimpering cries that were trying to cling onto life were still ringing in your ears. you didn't want to blink, afraid that if you did, you'd realise that what you just witnessed was real life. looking down at your hands they could tell you everything you needed to know; dried blood smeared all over, under fingernails, in the crevices between fingers and on your knuckles. you didn't even notice but your whole body was covered in her. every time your finger traced over a new spatter of rouge ichor you could hear her piercing screams. 

you didn't even notice when the paramedics were talking to you, your eyes glazed over, watching her, still gasping and shouting for rey. you were only bought back to reality after rose was taken away, and a hand finding your cheek.

 it was his. 

you didn't want to look, your tears running down your features and onto his palm. he was shaking you, trying to pull you into his atmosphere. 

"hey, hey, it's okay i'm here now" 

you couldn't help but feel anger, a burning rage was boiling in your epicentre. fuelling your sudden actions. you started pushing against his broadness, he was crouching, just like you, but didn't falter an inch with the hits and blows you gave him. tears were streaming down your face, clouding your vision, your voice becoming hoarse. 

"where were you! you said you'd be here! you said, you said-" 

you looked up and that's when you saw it all. 

he was beaten and bruised. the black eye seemed like nothing now . his lip was busted, practically pouring out vials of blood, his cheeks scuffed and scarred. he was bleeding heavily on one side of his face like someone had knifed him, just missing his eye. but what scared you wasn't the bruises, beatings and blood. it was the look in his eyes. genuine fear. you could see small pockets of water forming at his sockets, his eyes shifting to and fro yours, his hands still caressing your face, encompassing you within his grip, like he was making sure you were still real. 

"what- what happened?" 

he sighed, letting one single drop fall from his eye. lowering his head now, embarrassed almost to look at you. you could see him pursing his lips to one side. that's when you heard his low, quiet voice speak up. 

"there was too many of them i- i tried to get to the door but, the van, i" 

his words were getting more and more stressed, like he was going to run out of air before he could explain himself. his breathing becoming hitched, small pants trying to eek it's way out of his faltering and weakened mouth. you couldn't help but raise your hand to his that was still situated on your cheek, the other found his own surface, your thumb slowly wiping away the mixture of tears and blood that were running down his face. 

"ky. i'm here now. its- its going to be okay"