DISCONTINUED

Chapter 35

"No. I'm not going to open it Bo."

"C'mon Lu" Bo said softly, holding the envelope out towards her. "You have to open it."

"No. No I don't actually. That's one little bit of control that I still have, and I choose not to open it. I don't want to know. I choose to not know."

Bo sat quietly looking at his friend who sat at the far end of the couch with her legs tucked underneath her, biting her nails. She wouldn't look at him, but just stared straight ahead.

True to Luna's wishes and to his word Bo had made sure that there'd been no birthday party. But while they could avoid celebrating her birthday, they couldn't stop the arrival of her DoD notice. They'd known that it would be there when she got home from school, and for that reason Bo had insisted on going home with her. To her credit, Olivia had pretended she had other obligations as she knew that her hanging around today probably wasn't the best idea. Her and Luna were still friends. Definitely. And things had improved somewhat between the two of them, but it was still, well... complicated.

"Our reality sucks right now Luna, it does. I get that. But, at least for now, it is our reality. Not knowing isn't going to change that, and the truth is, you're better off knowing."

Luna turned to look at Bo as she sniffed back tears, rubbing her eyes with backs of her hands. "Really Bo? Are you sure about that? 'Cause I'm not. Honestly, I'm not so sure that I'm better off knowing." She turned away from him again, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Look, why don't we open it together?" Bo said as he started to move down closer to her end of the couch.

"No!" She turned and pointed her finger at him. At the envelope he was holding. "Keep that stupid thing away from me." She paused, taking a couple of deep breaths. "You open it then" she said, shaking her head. "If you think it's such a good idea to know, you open it."

Luna looked away again as Bo opened the envelope and slowly pulled out the notice. He smiled. "Lu. Lu. Look. Don't worry, it's good news!" He held the notice up for her to see.

She bit her lip and breathed deeply before slowly turning her head to look. 6,195. That's what it said. That was her number. The calculated date underneath it said April 12, 2050. She'd be almost 34. She was relieved. Very. And then she was immediately mad. No, she was furious. She looked again at that number, that stupid fucking number, and then at Bo. He was smiling and saying something, but she couldn't hear him. She started shaking, clenching her jaw so hard that it hurt.

"What did you say? Did you say, 'good news'?? You can't seriously be referring to my death warrant as good news?"

Bo's smile faded. "Well, no... of course it's not good news. Not really. You know I didn't mean that. But considering, I mean... it could be a lot worse, right? I mean, we might as well look on the bright side, right?" He looked at her hopefully.

"Oh yea. The bright side. Sorry... my bad. I'm going to die just before I turn 34. Awesome. You're right. Wow, what great news."

"No. I mean yes, but... no. Lu, you're going to live until you're almost 34."

Luna narrowed her eyes at him. "Right. Isn't that the same thing I just said?"

"Well, yea... sort of. But I think that focusing on the living vs. the dying is important. It's a matter of perspective. You know, a healthier point of view."

"Oh wow. You're right Dr. Bo. How could I have possibly missed the awesomeness of that. Thanks. I feel so much better now." She turned away from him again. He was right of course but she was still furious. Furious and terrified. Even still, she breathed a sigh of some amount of relief. She'd been dreading this day for a long time and, well... Bo was right. It could have been worse. For that she was - no, she was most certainly NOT thankful. That wasn't the right word. Those monsters didn't deserve even the smallest inkling of her thanks. It could have been worse. That was it. It could have been worse.

"Look, Lu... I'm sorry. I was just trying to help" said Bo softly. He paused. "I'm not the enemy here you know."

Luna turned to him and scrunched up her nose. He was right. He was just trying to help, as always. He didn't deserve to have her lash out at him. "I know, I know. I'm sorry Bo. But can we please get rid of that thing now?"

"Yes, we can get rid of it" said Bo as he got up and walked over to place the notice in the fire.