DISCONTINUED

Chapter 7

Garreth would have been the first to admit that he didn't take the death of Julia well. But then how is that even a thing? Who could possibly take the sudden and forever loss of their best friend "well"? Just what would that look like?

The news absolutely wrecked him, and he was still sitting in the hallway, head hung between his knees, hours later when Luna got home from school.

It took a while for him to actually get the words out, and then he and Luna just sat and held each other and sobbed together. Mack, who hadn't left Garreth's side all afternoon, sat with them.

OK G. Look, I appreciate that you're crushed and all, I really do, but you gotta pull yourself together.

Jules, I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to be here without you.

But you ARE there without me G. And yes, you can.

Jules, honey... I don't know how to exist without you.

I know G, but you're just going to have to figure it out. Look, nothing will ever be the same again, I know that. And honestly honey, I hope you miss me every day for the rest of your life, but you have to get up and find a way to face this thing and move on.

Face this thing? Are you kidding??? How am I supposed to move on? I don't want to move on. I can't. I won't.

I'm gone. It sucks. I get that. But you have so much left to live for. Life is a gift G. Every day. I know that now more than ever. And I'm not going to watch you waste the rest of yours. Garreth. Look at Luna. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her. Do it for our beautiful daughter G. Please.

Garreth and Luna sat and silently held each other until it started to get dark out. Mack started whining almost apologetically. Of course. It was late and he was hungry. Life goes on. You can lose your best friend and the world keeps turning. It made no sense and it seemed disrespectful to the beautiful life that was lost, but that's just the way that it was. He knew that nothing would ever, ever be normal again, but he had to find a way to slowly, gradually, in time make a new normal. What other choice did he have but to give up completely, and he couldn't do that to Luna. He wouldn't do that to Jules.

Jules, honey... I'll do it. I'll try. Don't worry. We're going to be OK. Eventually. But if you don't mind, we're just going to really miss you for a bit first, OK?

Garreth kissed Luna's forehead and slowly stood up. He held out his hands to her.

"C'mon Lu. I've got an idea. Let's go look at some pictures of Mom."

They spent the next couple of hours looking at old family photos and reliving old memories. It was horrible and heart breaking and wonderful all at the same time.

That night they threw the couch cushions and some blankets on the floor and they both slept downstairs by the fire with Mack snuggled between them. Garreth lay staring at the fire, tears silently and incessantly rolling down his cheeks, listening to Luna cry herself to sleep. She was his life now. He would live, if not for himself then for her. For her he could. He had to. He would.

Not surprisingly, Garreth only managed fitful snatches of sleep. He'd lie awake missing his Jules so much that his gut ached, leaving him curled up in a ball, softly crying to himself. For himself. For Jules. For Luna. For what was and what would now never be. Eventually the exhaustion of his grief would consume him, and he'd fall asleep. Asleep he'd dream horrible dreams of his wife dying and he'd wake from those dreams and reach out for her in the bed next to him, only to discover that he was alone, on the floor, and that his horrible dreams weren't dreams at all. As this cycle repeated itself, it was like he was reliving the news of her death over and over again. It was absolutely devastating.

More than once during the night he had heard Luna quietly sobbing, but each time he had pretended that he was asleep. He felt like such a coward and he was ashamed of himself, but he had absolutely no idea what to say to her. "It's going to be alright?" There's no way he could say those words right now because he simply couldn't see that far ahead. "We'll be ok?" To be honest, he wasn't so sure. "Mom's gone to a better place?" Sorry, but faith and belief in an afterlife or not, the wounds were all just way too fresh still for that. So, he had said nothing. He had done nothing.

Hey G. Seriously. Get off your butt and go console our daughter!

Jules. I... I don't know what to say?

I don't care. Your teenage daughter is lying over there sobbing over her dead mother and you're pretending that you're asleep and don't hear her? Really G??? This is your idea of taking care of our daughter? Come on, man up Garreth. You don't have to say anything. Just be there for her. For Pete's sake, Big Mack is better at this than you are.

Garreth glanced over to where Luna was lying and saw that Mack had curled up right beside her head and that she was petting him as she lay sobbing.

Neither one of you is going to be able to get through this on your own G. You need each other. You're stronger together.

Garreth silently laythere a little while longer before he finally skootched his way over to Luna. Assoon as he put his hand on her shoulder, he began to sob again. Not silentlythis time but in big, shaking convulsions. She rolled over and buried her facein his chest. Neither of them said a word. They didn't have to, and theycouldn't. A huge part of their lives had been ripped from them and they werecompletely, utterly broken.