DISCONTINUED

Chapter 53

Luna sat and watched as a bank of white clouds curled over the top of a distant ridge. The clouds slid effortlessly over the ridgeline, covering it like a blanket, and began silently reaching down towards her, filling the dark, shadowed ravines with tentacles of white. In another life, another context, she probably would have thought it looked cool. She might have even found it comforting. But right here and right now in this, her context, it was eerie as hell... suffocating and smothering, like fingers stretching down to choke her.

Luna shivered and looked away. "My Dad and I used to hike here."

"Yea, I remember coming up here with you guys a couple of times. It's a great spot. However, I'm not sure that it's a great idea for us to be up here now. Aren't we pretty much right on the edge of the boundary as far as coverage goes?"

Luna shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Yea, probably."

"And apparently that doesn't concern you at all?"

Luna tapped a fingertip to her pursed lips as she looked to the sky and furrowed her brow thoughtfully before turning to Bo and giving him a wide-eyed grin. "Nope. Not really. Besides, we saw some other people earlier, remember?"

"You mean the ones that warned us not to go any further, just in case?"

"Oh, right. They did say that didn't they? Oh well. C'mon old man. Live a little. Afterall, that's all we're going to do anyway, right... live a little. Get it?"

"Haha. Very funny Lu." Bo stood and turned to start heading back the way they'd come. "Let's go."

"Relax Bo. I mean, it's not like I'm starting to feel... faint or... any...thing..." Luna said as she began to stumble around dramatically.

"Oh yea. You're a real riot. C'mon. Let's go. I mean it."

Luna laughed. "Alright, alright. We'll go. Just give me a minute to enjoy the view." She reached down and picked up a handful of small rocks and began throwing them one by one over the edge. "You know, it's not like anybody would miss me anyway."

Bo rolled his eyes at her.

"Well, it's true. I mean, my Mom is gone, and now my Dad has his replacement family so he wouldn't miss me."

"Don't be ridiculous Lu. You know that's not true."

Luna sighed and sat down way too close to the edge for Bo's liking.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just jealous. I hardly ever get to see my Dad so now I've basically lost him too." She paused. "I have nobody. Nobody that would really miss me."

"Nobody?"

"Nobody."

"C'mon Lu. I would miss you."

Luna sat silently for a moment, just listening to the wind blowing through the valley and up the face of the cliff. "You'd be fine" she whispered as she stood up and peered out over the edge. "Long way down" she said quietly, almost to herself.

"Yea. Sure is."

"What do you think it would... feel like?"

"What would what feel like?"

"You know...". Luna motioned with her head towards the cliff.

Bo raised an eyebrow at her. "I have to say that the question seems a little rhetorical, but since you appear to actually be waiting for an answer... not good Lu. I would say, not good at all."

Luna shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. From this height I'm not sure you'd feel much of anything really. Sure, the fall itself would be... interesting, but I'm not sure that you'd actually feel any pain on impact."

"Well, yea... I guess you're probably right. But as you said, the fall itself would be terrifying... knowing what was coming. Sheesh." Bo grimaced at the thought. "Perhaps the more important question though is, why are we even talking about this?"

Luna ignored Bo's question and carried on with her train of thought. "What do you think it's like to die the way that we're going to die?"

Bo hesitated. "Well, I think the general consensus is that we won't really feel anything at all."

"But the days leading up to it, and on the day itself, you know... before the DoD drugs kick in. It must be terrifying, don't you think? Knowing the inevitability of what's coming and all?"

"Yea" said Bo quietly. "Yea Lu, I'm sure it is."

"So... what's the difference?" Luna turned to look out over the cliff again. "What's the difference between me taking a flying leap off this cliff vs. having them push a button and kill me? Either way, the leadup is terrifying but the end result is basically 'painless'."

"Yea, right. Step back from the edge there 'Suicide Squad' and let's go already." Bo turned and started walking back down the trail, but the sound of Luna's voice, the tone of it, made him stop and turn around.

"I'm serious Bo. You know what the difference is? I'll tell you. This way..." - she pointed to the cliff - "...this way I go out on my own terms. Isn't that better?"

"No Lu, it isn't. You do that and they win."

"I don't know Bo. It seems like they win either way. We definitely lose no matter what, that's for sure. But at least this way I'm in control. That has to count for something?"

Bo stared blankly at his friend. "You can't be serious?"

"What if I am? What does it matter? We're all just a bunch of walking dead anyway."

"It matters Lu."

"How? Why?"

"It just does."

She gave Bo a sad, resigned smile. "Honestly, I'm not so sure that it does Bo."

"Yes it does. It matters Lu because... it matters because... because I love you!"

Luna started slowly shaking her head from side to side. "No. No. No you don't. No. You can't. And I can't love you either!" she said as she rushed past him and started running back down the trail.