Tired of pretending (kiribaku)

Chapter 17: That dreadful feeling of faking it

Bakugo P.O.V

I didn't want to move.

I didn't want to breath.

I just wanted to lay there in silence.

The feeling of panic had slowly become dull in my chest but it was still present.

I felt paralyzed, I couldn't face them.

The night passed quickly, but painfully slow.

I was aware of every second but not truly in the moment.

By the time light finally filtered through my closed blinds I was tired.

I hadn't slept a wink, I still felt completely drained, the feeling of panic never truly leaving me.

The shrill sound of an alarm finally shook me out of my depressing stupor.

I gained enough energy to move my arm, grabbing my phone and glancing at the time. Temporarily blinded by the bright light.

It read 7:45 , I was late.

I cursed and forced my aching limbs to rise from my place curled up in a ball under my sheets. My mother was going to kill me, she snapped at me for being a couple minutes late to class I couldn't imagine what she would do if she found I had skipped first period.

I put on a scowl and walked my shaky limbs towards my dresser , realizing that I was still in my uniform from yesterday. I sighed and trudged to my bathroom. I couldn't bother changing, it was to much effort. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked dead , There were heavy bags under my eyes and my hair was proofed up more than usual , I looked scrawny and my arms were charred from my outburst the night prior.

I was disgusting.

I quickly got to work covering my heavy dark circles that were clearly present under my eyes, checking multiple times to be sure they weren't visible. I then grabbed some gauze and slowly wrapped my arm which throbbed painfully at the touch.

I attempted to flatten any wrinkles that had appeared in my uniform but there were two many to count , causing me to eventually give up.

I then did my normal morning tasks such as brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant before grabbing my back-pack and walking out the door.

I began sprinting as I neared the class building, if I was any later I wouldn't be able to walk on Monday.

I reached the classroom door by sprinting , nearly banging into the door as my tired limbs protested the movement.

I slowly opened the door, dreading the stares.

The whole class turned to face me with wide eyes.

      "Bakugo thank you for joining us .." Mr.Aizawa commented.

     "Tch..whatever.." I muttered . Trudging to my seat and sliding my aching body onto my chair. I could feel the stares on my back, I hated it.

     "Stop staring at me you damn extras" I yelled after turning around to see at least half the classes eyes on me.

they quickly avoided my gaze and went back to writing.

      "As I was saying before problem child showed up, today we are going to continue sparring as yesterday didn't go as planned" he glanced in my general direction as he said this making me internally cringe.

      "It will just be class 1-A this time as we decided it's best to keep it separate for the time being. I will be giving you your pairs now so we can begin as soon as possible." He said in a monotone voice.

He then started listing off sparring pairs that were written on a sheet of paper. I tuned him out just like the last time until I heard my name.

"Okay uh..Midoriya and bakugo versus todoroki and Urakaka.."

I felt my body tense up.i couldn't fight him and his flames , I could barely handle the thought of them let alone the sight.. I must have been shaking as I could hear the sound of my desk rattling underneath me.

"Bakugo... are you listening...?"

"I'm not gonna fight damn icy-hot" I yelled, standing up with a scowl on my face though I felt quite the opposite.

Maybe if I caused a big enough scene he would change my partner and they wouldn't find out about my pitiful fear , they had already seen me weak twice , it wasn't happening again.

"Bakugo ..im not changing your partners just because you don't like someone your acting like a child" Mr.Aizawa muttered giving me a glare.

"I-I'm Not fighting him ..damn half and half" I mumbled again cringing as my voice cracked.

"Bakugo ..why don't you want to fight todoroki I need the truth if you want me to switch your partners.."

I cursed and sent a glare towards him.

"None of your concern..." I hissed.

"Bakugo ..."

"Mr.Aizawa I would be fine changing partners if your okay with that ... I can switch out for Kirishima.." I heard him say.

I felt rage building , I didn't need his pity.

"Shut up half n' half I don't need your pity ..." I mumbled.

"Okay ..if both parties are okay with it I'll switch the partners but Bakugo no more interruptions..." he droned on.

I sat back down in my seat , raising my legs up onto my desk and crossing my arms, a scowl plastered on my face. I glared at anyone who even tried to look at me.

After a couple minutes the bell rang signaling us to go to see next class, I grabbed my bag angrily and stomped off to class , not waiting for anyone, not that I deserved to be cared about.

The first half of the day passed by quickly , I zoned out in almost all my classes as I already knew a lot of what they were teaching, despite what people thought I wasn't stupid.

Once the bell run for lunch I quickly rushed off to the roof, making it half-way before an arm wrapped around my neck.

It's was Kirishima.

"Hi bakubro.. do you wanna sit with us at lunch ..?" He asked with a smile.

"Tch.. Fine" I mumbled, at least Kirishima was pretending nothing had happend I couldn't stand to see his pitying gaze , I didn't deserve him.

He grinned at my statement and began to walk back towards the cafeteria, making no move to remove his arm.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks at his closeness, my heart racing. I turned my face away , I couldn't let him see me.

"Hey bakubro what are you doing ..? Don't tell me your shy~" he teased.

"Tch..course not your just close that's all.." I muttered, my ears turning red.

"Whatever you say bakubro..!" He chuckled and continued to walk in a comfortable silence.

Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.

How wrong I was.

———————————————————————————A/n: added some fluff, needed a break from the angst.