Mutuals

[61]

"Zara stop being lazy we've got so much to do" Jason called from the other room
I slap a hand over my mouth to try and hold the giggles in, Alice doing the same
"I swear to god get in this room right now" Jason shouts again

I look at Alice, still laughing, we're both weak to our knees and I genuinely think I'm going to piss myself.
We get up off the floor, falling over each other as we do so but make it over to the next room.
"We're here" I say breathlessly
I sit down opposite Farhan and Alice sits next to me, opposite Jason

"You two are putting us all behind" Farhan raises an eyebrow
"Blame Alice and Jason, they're the ones who decided to get married" I comment and Alice laughs at it but Jason does not seem impressed
"Shit sorry" I add sarcastically noticing the daggers he was shooting me

"Anyways back to work, I got an email from a small business last week and they want to collab with you" Jason begins
"Is it the lashes one?" Alice asks and he nods his head
"Which lashes one?" I ask
"They're a local London business and they want to collaborate if you're okay with that" he explains
"Should we do it?" I ask
They all nod their heads at me so I shrug, "okay we'll do it"

I lean back in my chair and sigh, "this influencer thing is really easy you know"
They all look at me with dead eyes and I smile, "love you guyyyyyysss"

"Any plans for later?" Alice asks
"I wish I did but no, alone in the apartment again" I sigh
"What about that guy? Adil?" She asks
"Who's Adil?" Farhan pipes up
"Is he the one you were dancing with?" Jason asks and for some reason my cheeks turn red
"He's no-one" I mutter and Alice laughs at me
"He's a 'friend' of hers" she says putting quotation marks around friend

"Oh my days shut up" I roll my eyes and get up to get water from the front side of the studio
As I'm walking into the reception area of our little studio, I see Harris stood a couple streets away and I have to do a double take

What is he doing here?

For a second, our eyes lock and I quickly look away pretending I didn't see him and pour myself a glass of water
A few moments later there's a knock at the glass window and I turn around to see Harris

Since we're supposedly friends I sigh and go to the door to open it for him
"Hey I didn't know if you'd be here"
"Yeah erm Alice and Jason got back from their honeymoon so back to work"
"Oh"
"Yeah" I nod my head

This is so awkward

"So what are you doing here?" I ask and instantly regret it because it came out really rude
"I erm I wanted to speak to you" he stutters
"About what?"
"Us"
"Harris there is no us"
"I know and it's my fault"
"Yeah it is and we're friends now so just leave it"
"Zara but-"
"Harris no, we can't do this, it's been a year we have to forget about it"
"Look I'll ask you for one thing and if you can do that then I'll leave you alone" he reasons
"What?" I sigh

"Look me in the eye and tell me it's over"
My eyebrows furrow
"If you can do that I'll know you don't want us anymore and I'll leave you alone, you don't even have to be friends with me"
"Harris this is stupid" I shake my head
"It's not stupid, if you can do it I'll know you're over me and you can go be with Adil"

I look at him and he looks at me
"Say it" he prompts
"It's erm..." I tap my foot on the floor not being able to control myself
The tears are threatening to fall out and I start fidgeting on the spot. He takes a hold of my hands, stopping me trembling fingers.
"Say it" he repeats
"Erm it's... it's" I look down trying to conceal the tears that are collecting at my eyes

"Zara" he says
"Harris why do you do this?" I say looking up at him but he doesn't say anything.
I take my hands out of his to dry the tears before mascara starts running, "you know what my answer is so why do you keep coming back? Why don't you let me be over you for god's sake?"
"Because we're meant to be Zara, I fucked up, but we're meant to be you know that and so do I"
"If we were mean to be you wouldn't be making me cry so much" I sniffle
"Every single tear that falls out your eyes because of me tears me apart and us not being together is making you even more upset, admit it" he looks me straight in the eye, "that's why I swear to God if you give me another chance I'll make you the happiest you've ever been"

"We can't go back to how it was though" I say simply
"I know we can't but we can be better" the sincerity in his eyes makes me want to take him back but the tiny bit of sense in me is telling me otherwise
"We can't just get back together though Harris, we've been apart for a year I'm not who I was a year ago and neither are you"
"So let's get to know each other again" he grabs my hands again, "we can start fresh"

I look down at our hands, a million thoughts crossing through my mind

Is it worth it?
What if my heart breaks again?
What if he's unsure again?
What about Adil?

"Zara?" He asks in a soft voice
I look back up at him, "okay"
It comes out as a whisper but he heard it and I notice a look of relief come over his face
"Can I take you out tonight?" He asks
"It's too soon Harris" I shake my head
"As a get-to-know-you date? Come on" he tries to convince me
I sigh giving in, "fine"
"I'll come pick you up at 8, be ready" he winks at me before leaving the studio

"Zara what's taking you so long?" Alice walks in shaking me out of my thoughts
"Huh?" I ask
"Jason needs you, hurry up" she exits the room and I follow behind

What am I going to wear tonight?

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My life's a shit show guys but Zara's might be getting back to normal that's all that matters