“What are you doing here?”I asked kuya Basti, nandito kasi siya sa school. Hindi naman siya nag-aaral dito.
“Ano pa bang gagawin ko dito?”he sighed. “I came here to see you. To check if you’re okay.”
I rolled my eyes and enter the cafeteria. “Security guard ka ba, ha, kuya?”
He grinned at me. Mukhang may kailangan na naman si Sebastian sa akin.
“Pinapunta ako dito ni mommy para tignan kung okay ka lang,”he said while his arms are crossed. Mukhang hindi naman si mommy ang nagpapunta dito kay kuya kung ‘di ang girlfriend niya na si Rina.
“Okay nga lang ako, kuya.”I said, but he arched his brow. “May trust issues? Hindi naniniwala?”
He smirked. “I don’t have trust issues. You’re just lying to me and that’s the issue, Yve!"
“I’ll give you my keys and you can go.”umiling siya.
“Then give me a ride to your cardiologist,”he grinned, but I sighed. I feel better than before, hindi na sumasama ang pakiramdam ko, I hope my medication works.
“Edi puntahan mo sa Singapore,”I replied and drink a glass of water to avoid the conversation.
“Are you lying to me, Yve?”
“Why would I lie to you, kuya?”even though I’m lying to him.
“Should we book a ticket to Singapore?”he asked. He’s good at making me speechless. “Tell me when we’re gonna lose you agin, Yve. Hindi iyong bigla na lang namin malalaman na malala na iyong condisyon mo!”
I bit my lip to hold back the tears.
“Huwag tayo dito mag-usap, kuya.”
Tumayo ako at lumabas ng cafeteria habang nakasunod naman sa akin si kuya papunta sa parking lot.
“Kailan mo pa nakuha iyong result?”patuloy lang sa pagtatanong sa akin si kuya.
“First week of the month,”I replied.
“First week of the month? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin? Bakit tinatago mo?”I didn’t answer his question.
Pumunta kaming dalawa ni kuya sa bahay, doon lang kasi ang lugar kung saan kami pwedeng mag-usap na walang makakarinig sa amin. Wala dito si mommy.
Nasa ibang bansa siya, naghahandle ng business namin. Sobrang dami niyang ginagawa doon at ayoko na dumagdag pa ako sa iniisip niya sa ibang bansa.
“Nasan iyong result?”
Huminga ako ng malalim at binigay kay kuya iyong result ng echocardiography ko. Tumalikod ako kay kuya dahil ayaw ko na makita ang reaksyon niya habang binabasa ang result.
I hate lying to him because seeing his reaction is like tearing my heart. We can’t do anything to save me from my condition. I’m taking medication to lessen the pain that I’m feeling. If my medicines didn’t work anymore--- it’s too late.
“Yve,”kuya hugged me while tears are falling from his eyes. Nasasaktan ako kapag nakikita ko siya na ganito. Kuya is so brave, but I am the one who xcan make him weak. I am his weakness and losing me is his great downfall.
“Crying is bad for you, Yve.”he faked a smile while wiping my tears. “We can still do everything to save you. I know a cardiologist in Makati, he’s my friend. He’s the best cardiologist in the Philippines. He’s quite busy, madami kasi siyang pasyente, but we can still try…”
I already thank God for giving me people who didn’t know how to give up on me.
“Kuya,”
“I have a patient, Yve. She’s involved in a car accident last week. She’s still in the state of a coma and we can’t determine when will she wake up. And I heard that she wants to donate her organs to the people who needed it, maybe I can---”
“Save her heart for the people who need it the most. I’ve already had a beautiful life, kuya.”
Minsan mas okay na lang na sumuko at sulitin ang natiturang mga oras sa buhay mo kesa lumaban ka. Hindi pala sapat na may pinanghahawakan kang rason para lumaban. Minsan hindi ka naman talaga matatalo kung susuko ka.
“Yve…”
“Just become a great doctor for me, kuya. Don’t give up on your patient like how you didn’t want to give up on me.”
“There are a lot of people who’s caring and loving you. Don’t give up on your life either, Yve!”I cupped his face and gave him a huge a smile. How funny that I’m smiling even my tears are falling from my eyes.
“God knows that I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to leave Paulo like that. I want to spend my lifetime with him, but maybe I was meant to die like what my name means.”I said.
“If I die---”
“You will not die, Yve! You will not…”I’m still smiling while holding his hands.
“If I die just look after Paulo, kuya. I know that you two will become a great doctor in the future.”kuya pulled me gently and hugged him tight.
“What if we still try, Yve?”
"What if it’s the end?”
BINABASA MO ANG
What If It's Not?
Ficción General(What If Series #2) Yvaine Dominique Fontanilla, have ever loved someone so much that it seemed like she couldn't live a life without his ex-boyfriend, Kale Elijah Madrona. And for Paulo Nicolaj Medina, being with someone for a long time is comforta...
