No Looking Back

Chapter 43

Mackenzie's POV:
It's almost been a week and Calum still hasn't returned. I'm worried about him, Luke may not want to see him ever again but I think I would go crazy if I never saw Calum again. Calum is my world, I love him more than anyone or anything..Luke is beyond pissed about what happened between Calum and I but I don't care, it's not my problem anyway. My only problem right now is that Calum is missing, it breaks my heart. I just want to see Calum, I want to run up to him and throw my arms around him and tell him how much I love him.
Calum may or may not love me, the last thing he told me was, 'But I don't love you. I just used you, you silly girl.' I know Calum and I know he's not like that, well he is but he certainly wouldn't do that to me. He couldn't have. I tried to run after him but Luke held me back. I should have pushed Luke away and ran after Calum..now thanks to me, Calum is gone, he's not answering my phone calls or texts. My phone calls go straight to his voicemail. He hasn't been home not even to shower or anything.. I haven't seen his car drive by my window. I'm really worried about Calum. I love him. I haven't really left my room since the whole incident, I refuse to leave the house unless if I know for a fact that Calum is awaiting me outside. But he's not, so I won't go out ever again until he comes out and I mean it! Luke has been trying to talk to me, I know that I hurt him and that hurts me. I feel bad for hurting Luke especially since I know about his past and he knows about me. Calum knew both our pasts and look at what he did. Calum has no heart, now that I think about it I don't really know Calum. We may be really close but I don't know that much about his past, I want to get to know him, I want to get to know all of him. All of his secrets, all of his mistakes, all of his achievements. I want to get to know every single detail about him, I want to be with him. I want to learn his past and be apart of his future. I can't do that if he's not here...
"Mackenzie.." Luke knocks on my bedroom door, "Can I come in?"
"I don't know." I roll my eyes, "Can you?" I say sarcastically and hold back a laugh. Luke awkwardly walks in and stands next to my bed.
"You need to stop this."
"Stop what?"
"Stop mourning the loss of Calum."
"Luke, you say it as if he's dead.."
"He could be." I let out a gasp.
"Luke don't fucking say that." He's right though, Calum could be dead and we wouldn't even know.
"It's true Mac." Luke sits down on my bed and pats me back, I immediately jump.
"Don't fucking touch me."
"Why not?"
"Just please don't touch me."
"You act like if I hurt you."
"You did." I say sharply.
"I hurt you? I fucking hurt you? Mackenzie are you blind or something? I didn't hurt you, I could never hurt you..in fact you hurt me and I'm still here by your side, I shouldn't even be here. You don't deserve me. I used to think I didn't deserve you but you proved me wrong. You hurt me so bad Mackenzie, you ripped my heart out. I thought I finally found someone. I finally decided to open up to someone again and look at what happened..I got my heart broken even worse than before. I didn't just lose my girlfriend, I lost my childhood bestfriend. Thanks to you and Calum, I can't even trust anyone. Why did you do this Mac? This isn't the girl I fell in love with months ago.."
"Luke.." I let out a sigh, "I hope you don't think this changes the fact that I love Calum. I didn't love you Luke, don't expect to win me over with some stupid speech."
"You're a bitch Mackenzie," Luke gets up from my bed and makes his way to the door, "I don't even know you anymore.." Within a second, Luke was gone. I start to think about what he said but then I stop, do I even care? No I don't, all I care about is Calum. I need to find Calum. I lay down and let out a long,loud sigh. Should I leave the house to look for Calum? I think about it for a long time before deciding I should. I need to find Calum, I need to find out whether he is alive or dead. I can't believe I'm thinking that, but Luke is right..
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I have literally been driving around for hours looking for Calum, I can't seem to find him and no one has seen him either. I even went to the police for help but they said they haven't seen him or his car. He's no where in Sydney.. that means I'll have to leave town in order to look for him, but the thing is what way out of town did he go? If I look for him all over Australia, it could take days and weeks, then I'll have to drive so much then come back home to sleep and go looking again..there's only one option. Road Trip! I'll have to go by myself since everyone hates Calum at the moment, they say they'll hate him forever since that was a dick movie but who could hate Calum Thomas Hood?