best of me | woosan (✓)

- eight -

tw / self harm & suicidal thoughts

"i'm surprised you're even willing to show your face, choi."

"wait... what did he do?" wooyoung asked nervously.

"he's part of the reason that jisu is dead," yeosang said bluntly.

wooyoung's eyes filled with tears, and san just looked at yeosang and seonghwa with a puzzled face. he knew wooyoung's sister had been in a car accident, but san pretty much never got into a car. not since his parents had gotten into a crash when he was twelve with him in the back seat.

"w-what?"

wooyoung's voice broke and he collapsed onto the ground in tears. he was disappointed in himself for trusting san so easily.

"what are you guys talking about?" san asked. "i-i don't drive, a-and i haven't even ridden in a car since last year!"

"well, maybe we should clarify then. it was your parents. they're the reason jisu crashed. and you knew about that, didn't you?" seonghwa snarled.

san felt weak in his knees. he didn't have a clue that his parents were the reason for her death. he felt broken all over again.

"w-wooyoung... i-i swear i didn't know," san cried out, trying not to let his tears fall. "i-i— oh my god..."

"h-how could you, san? i-i trusted you! how could you k-keep this from me?" wooyoung yelled.

"woo... i-i didn't know! i-if i had, i-i never would have gotten close to you. i-i would've felt guilty from the start, i wouldn't have been a-able to handle it," san hiccuped, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"p-please... j-just go... i-i need to think..."

san sighed and wiped his eyes, then left the room, yunho following closely behind him.

"i believe you, san... a-and i'm sorry that yeosang and seonghwa were so rough about it. i'll try to talk to wooyoung a little later, okay?"

san nodded, staring at the ground.

"san... do you have some place to go? i don't want you to be alone like this..."

"i-i'm okay, yunho. i'm just gonna go home... c-can you just do me a favor and text me when wooyoung's gotten home safely?"

"of course... here, give me your phone."

san obliged quickly, handing yunho his phone and allowing the boy to put his number in.

"okay... i'll text you once i hear he's gotten home, yeah? stay safe, san."

san nodded and left the building, heading back to the train station. dark thoughts clouded his head the entire way home, san itching to get home and ease his pain.

he got home and went to head upstairs, only to be greeted by his father, one hit after another. once he had escaped, he made his way into the bathroom, retrieving his hidden blade, and lowering his pants to reveal the patch on his thigh that was covered in scars. he let tears begin to run down his cheeks again as he started to carve more lines, then staring at the blood seeping out. he felt lightheaded, but continued to create new scars and open old ones until he grew tired.

he sat in the bathroom, letting the blood run down his leg, until his phone buzzed twice. he picked up his phone and saw a message from yunho, and one from hongjoong.

yunho
he's home safe. he just
texted me to let me know.
i hope you're doing okay...

san sighed in relief seeing that wooyoung had arrived home safely. that was all he could ask for at the moment.

hongjoong
hey, are you okay? a kid
named yunho stopped by
jongho's dorm worried
about you

san
yeah, i'm okay, joong...
you know that guy wooyoung?
i messed up and hurt him,
that's all. yunho was just
looking out for me.

hongjoong
i'm sorry, san. i could tell
you really liked him :/

san
it's okay, it's my fault anyways...

san didn't wait for hongjoong's response before he turned off his phone and wiped up the blood from his leg, just enough so he could pull his pants back up and go to his room.

once he was in his bed, he laid there staring at the ceiling until he fell asleep. meanwhile, wooyoung was staring at his own ceiling, wondering whether or not san actually knew.

he was confused. why would seonghwa and yeosang go out of their way to find out who caused jisu to crash when police had claimed to not have any evidence of who did it? did san really know and tell a close friend of his own? it didn't make any sense, but he truly hoped that seonghwa and yeosang were wrong. there was something special about san, and wooyoung desperately didn't want to lose him.

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writing this lowk made me sad but it had to happen for what i have planned in future chapters i sowwy