best of me | woosan (✓)

- nine -

tw / suicidal thoughts

days had passed since san and wooyoung had spoken, and san was deteriorating day by day. he barely ate, barely slept, harmed himself nearly every night, and just wanted a way out of living. the only thing stopping him was wooyoung. he couldn't help but wonder what the younger would do if he chose to go.

wooyoung was a mess too, his mind racing as he tried to decide who to believe. his best friends or the boy who seemed to be his savior.

it was four in the morning once again, and wooyoung hadn't been able to sleep, so he took a walk and went to his sister's grave. when he arrived, he found san sitting there, crying and apologizing.

"i-i'm so sorry... you didn't deserve this, jisu... i-i'm so s-sorry my parents are m-monsters... i-if it hadn't been for them, you would still be here a-and wooyoung would be happy... h-he never would've met me a-and... i-i would be in your place. e-except... i-i don't think mine wouldn't have been an accident."

wooyoung gasped silently and rushed up to sit next to san. san looked over and when he saw wooyoung, it only broke him more.

"i-i'm sorry, wooyoung... i-i didn't know, i-i r-really didn't... s-she should still be here... i-i should be in her place."

"san... stop it... please, stop it," wooyoung begged, grabbing san's arm.

san whimpered in pain and wooyoung quickly but gently removed san's hoodie to find that his skin was once again covered in bruises.

"san..."

"y-you don't have to p-pretend you care about me, w-wooyoung... i-i know you hate me..."

"i-i don't! i really w-wanted to... but yunho told me he believed you... a-and something about that stuck with me and i-i couldn't convince myself that you actually knew. i don't hate you, san... i-i just really miss my sister."

san nodded, still not looking at wooyoung. that was the moment when wooyoung realized that something was really wrong and san needed his help.

instead of saying anything, wooyoung took his own sweater off and slipped it onto san's arms, then put san's hoodie on himself. san looked confused as wooyoung stood up and reached his hand out for the older to take, but accepted and allowed wooyoung to help him up.

"come with me," he whispered.

wooyoung led san back to his house and up to his room, pulling san to his bed so that the two could talk.

"talk to me."

"w-what do you want me to say?"

"i want you to tell me what's going on. you're clearly not okay, san. please... just let me help you..."

"i'm fine, wooyoung..."

"stop lying to me! stop lying and tell me what's going on!" wooyoung yelled, his voice breaking a bit.

"is it not obvious? i'm fucking depressed, wooyoung! is that what you wanted to hear?!"

"it is, san. i wanted you to tell me. i didn't want to assume anything because i care about you. i care enough to not just assume anything."

"so you never assumed i was okay? or that i was happy?"

"you know how every time you come over i ask how you are? it's not just to be friendly, it's because i wanted you to tell me how you were feeling so that i didn't assume the opposite."

"s-so... you really care?"

"of course i do, san... now, go change into something a bit more comfortable, i think we should try to get some rest..."

"b-but i have classes later..."

"yunho told me you didn't show up at all this week for algebra. i don't think missing a friday after missing the rest of the week is going to hurt you that bad."

"woo..."

"san, i know you want to prove to me that things are okay, but they're not. you deserve to rest..."

"i-i've missed so many classes this week, though. i-i finally let my mental illness catch up with me and that's something i never wanted to happen," san cried.

"i know you want to go, but you need to get some sleep. just try to relax, sannie..."

san took a deep breath and nodded, then went over to the drawer of wooyoung's wardrobe full of his own clothes and grabbed sweatpants and a fresh shirt.

"c-can i change in here?"

wooyoung nodded and turned over so that san could have some privacy while changing. san carefully pulled his pants off, whimpering a bit as he got close to his cuts.

"everything okay, san?"

"y-yeah.. just sore, that's all."

he managed to get himself changed fairly quickly, then went and laid in bed beside wooyoung. wooyoung turned to face san as he felt his weight on the bed, then gently began to play with the older's hair. san closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling.

"get some rest, san... i'm right here if you need me."

"w-what about you?"

"i'll be okay.. i'll sleep later if i have to, i just want you to get some sleep first."

"b-but—"

"once you're asleep i'll try to sleep, okay? and if i can't i'll tell you and i'll nap later. sound good?"

san nodded hesitantly, then pulled wooyoung into his chest. the two boys clung to each other like there was no tomorrow, and soon san had fallen asleep. wooyoung admired the boy a bit before trying to fall asleep on his own, and he did, with one thing on his mind.

san.

-
yes hello this was a sad chapter but it was a bit heartwarming at the same time bc of how i have woosan interacting,, i couldn't let this chapter be ~too~ sad