best of me | woosan (✓)

- seventeen -

tw / self harm

after the incident with seonghwa, hongjoong and yeosang became fast friends, which wooyoung was especially happy about. seonghwa wasn't too happy about this though. even though he hadn't spoken to either boy in over a week, he desperately wanted to text hongjoong and apologize. he wanted yeosang's forgiveness too, but after breaking the boy's heart, he figured he should wait a bit.

seonghwa had never intended on being a bad guy. he didn't even realize he was capable of being such an asshole. all he knew was that he missed his friends, and he had never felt more alone in his life.

san was walking across campus to get to hongjoong's dorm for lunch break when he was stopped by seonghwa, who put his hand on the boy's shoulder quickly but firmly.

"san..."

"what do you want?" san spat.

"i need your help."

"i'm not your friend, park. at this rate, i never will be. you don't even deserve my help," he scoffed, pulling away and rolling his eyes before walking off again.

"san, wait! please... you don't realize how big of a mistake i made..."

"oh, but i do. first, you almost ruined my friendship with wooyoung. then, you were an asshole to yunho. not even a month later, yeosang goes and breaks up with you because he actually cares about his friends and you blatantly tell him you were going to dump him anyways. then you go and hurt him more by making out with my best friend the next day. not to mention how shitty you made hongjoong feel when he found out."

"i never meant for this to happen, san. i never should've dated yeosang, i just felt like i had to... i never liked him like that, san. i just didn't want to let him down. i liked hongjoong the whole time..."

"you don't even know hongjoong, you prick."

"that's where you're wrong..."

"oh? i'm wrong? okay, prove it. what happened seven years ago that caused joong's life to change completely? why does he prefer long sleeves? what is his favorite thing about himself? why does he love dying his hair? and one more question, what's his favorite food?"

seonghwa scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"his favorite food? easy."

"really? then what is it?"

"strawberries."

"wrong."

"how is that wrong?!"

"just because he eats strawberries a lot doesn't make them his favorite," san said bluntly, walking away again.

"fine... so i don't know him that well. i can't answer any of your questions. but... i want to know him. i've always found him attractive, and something about him makes me want to just hold him and protect him and—"

"you can stop now. i don't believe a single word thats coming out of your mouth right now."

"wh—"

"save it for someone who cares, seonghwa."

and with that, san left.

when san got to hongjoong's room, he found wooyoung holding a sobbing hongjoong.

"what happened?" san asked, putting his bag down quickly and sitting on the other side of the older boy.

"he bumped into seonghwa earlier and he can't stop thinking about what happened..." wooyoung explained softly, watching as hongjoong began to cling to san.

"joongie... joongie, it's okay. it's not your fault," san cooed softly, beginning to play with the boy's hair.

"i-i— s-san... i-i r-r-rel-lapsed... i-i couldn't h-help it..." hongjoong hiccuped.

"joong... you were doing so good..." san said softly, frowning. "what triggered it? was it seonghwa?"

"i-it's not his f-fault, sannie... p-please don't blame him..."

"i'm gonna kill him..." san muttered through gritted teeth.

"n-no! san, please," hongjoong cried, pulling on san's arm a bit.

wooyoung simply sat there in shock, unsure of what to say or do. he wanted to help, but he didn't want to overstep or intrude on something.

"let me see your arms, joongie..." san sighed.

"n-no.. i-i don't want to scare w-wooyoung..."

"it's okay, joongie. you won't scare me, i promise... i want to be here for you too..."

hesitantly, hongjoong put his arms out and shut his eyes, his arms visibly shaking in fear. san carefully pulled up hongjoong's sleeves, exposing scars old and new on both arms. wooyoung held in a gasp and rested his head on hongjoong's shoulder to comfort the boy while san made sure nothing was open or irritated.

"i'm staying here tonight," san insisted.

"i-i'll stay with yeosang and yunho tonight," wooyoung offered.

"woo... you should go home," san said with worry.

"i can't, sannie... i'll end up being up all night..."

"shit, i forgot.. joongie, would it be okay if woo stayed here too?"

"o—"

"san, it's okay. i'll stay with yunho and yeosang."

"but you won't sleep..."

"i'll be okay... joongie needs you more than i do right now," wooyoung said softly, nodding.

"w-woo... you can stay here, it's okay," hongjoong whispered, grabbing the boy's hand.

"where's your blade, joongie?" san asked, pushing the older's hair back.

"n-no.. i-i n-need it, s-sannie..."

"no, you don't..."

"hey, san? could i talk to joong alone for a minute?" wooyoung asked, noticing hongjoong tightening his grip on his hand.

san looked between the two hesitantly and nodded, then walked out. wooyoung grabbed hongjoong's other hand and squeezed both hands tightly, then looked at hongjoong.

"why do you hurt yourself, joongie? be honest, please... i won't tell san or anyone else, this is between you and me."

"i-i'm nothing, w-woo.. i-i'm so e-empty inside... a-all i k-know is h-hurt, a-and s-sometimes i do it j-just to f-feel something... o-other times i-it's because i—" hongjoong's voice broke and he burst into tears again, causing wooyoung to quickly pull him into his arms.

"i get it, joongie.. it's okay. you don't have to explain any further," wooyoung said softly, rubbing his back. "i just have one question."

"w-what is i-it?"

"could you please show me where your blade is?"

"n-no! w-why d-do you w—"

"hongjoong, i'm not going to take it from you."

"y-you're not?"

wooyoung shook his head, causing hongjoong to back up a bit.

"y-you're sure?"

"of course i'm sure, joongie."

hongjoong took a deep breath before he went over to his desk and opened a drawer, then went through a book until he reached a page where his blade had been hidden.

"joongie?"

"y-yeah?"

wooyoung put his arm out and rolled up his sleeve.

"cut me."