best of me | woosan (✓)

- thirteen -

tw / brief mentions of abuse

san was finally going to tell his parents he was moving out and get the last of his things. doing so terrified him, but he couldn't wait much longer. wooyoung wanted to go with him, but out of fear, san refused to let him.

"sannie... please, just let me come with you."

"i-i can't, woo... if you get hurt i'll never forgive myself..."

"i can protect myself!" wooyoung exclaimed with a pout.

"even if you can, i can't risk it..."

"what if something happens to you?"

"i'll be okay, i'm used to it. i'll just have a few more bruises and then you'll never have to worry again."

wooyoung frowned at how relaxed san was about this. how could anyone be alright with getting beaten? wooyoung just wanted san to be safe, he didn't want the boy hurt ever again.

"are you sure i can't come?"

"woo..."

wooyoung sighed, then nodded when he realized san wasn't going to budge.

"fine..."

"if it makes you feel better you can wait for me down the street, but i really do think i'll be okay... i usually am."

"don't lie, san... you know i hate that."

"i'm serious, woo. i can usually tolerate the pain, i'm sure i'll be okay."

wooyoung grabbed san's hand and squeezed it tightly, then stared at him a bit. san smiled small and brought the younger's hand to his lips, pressing soft kisses to his fingers.

"how much time do you think you'll need? i'll wait for you down the street..."

"i don't know... um, maybe fifteen? i don't think i'm going to bring more than just my clothes for now..."

"san... i don't want you going back there..."

"i'm gonna have to, woo... neither of us drive, there's only so much we can carry."

wooyoung began to chew on his lip, thinking about how technically, he did drive. he just hadn't done so since his sister passed out of fear.

"i-i do drive... i-i just haven't since jisu died..." wooyoung said softly.

"woo, no... i'm not going to let you drive if you're not ready..."

"i'll be okay, san. let me drive you..."

san wasn't convinced, but he didn't want to upset wooyoung, so he just nodded. if things went badly and wooyoung couldn't do it, he would just wait until later in the day to go get his stuff from his parents' house.

the two went out to the garage and got into wooyoung's car, which had been untouched for almost five months now. wooyoung got pale as he sat in the driver's seat and touched the steering wheel, taking a few deep breaths. san watched him carefully from the passenger's seat, a little nervous himself. he wasn't a huge fan of cars, he never had been, but he had to be there for wooyoung.

"you've got this, woo... just relax, yeah?" san said softly.

wooyoung nodded and started the car, holding his breath a bit. he began to back out and quickly pressed the brake, unsure of himself.

"breathe, wooyoung. you're doing good, i'm right here with you."

wooyoung began to chew on the inside of his cheek, then continued to back out. he made it out of the garage, then threw the car in park and burst into tears. san frowned and took wooyoung's hands in his own, already having caught on to the boy's habit of pinching his skin when he was upset with himself.

"you're okay, woo... you did your best and that's what is important. i'm proud of you for even trying, okay? it's gonna be alright... you'll get there with time," san cooed softly, kissing the boy's fingers.

"i-i—"

"shh... just relax for now... take a couple of deep breaths with me, yeah?" san requested.

wooyoung nodded and san led the boy in taking deep breaths until he had stopped crying.

"there you go..." san whispered, letting go of one of wooyoung's hands to rub his back. "hey, bub? do you think you can handle pulling the car back into the garage? after that you won't have to do anything, we'll go upstairs and relax for a bit.."

"u-um... i'll try?"

"just remember i'm here, okay? you don't have to be afraid..."

"okay," wooyoung whispered, squeezing san's hand.

the boy quickly composed himself a bit before beginning to pull back into the garage. san softly encouraged wooyoung while he did, then wooyoung hastily turned off the car and went inside without saying another word. san frowned at wooyoung's actions, then followed the boy after closing the garage door.

"woo... hey, what's wrong? you did your best, bub..." san said softly, sitting on the edge of wooyoung's bed and gently rubbing the crying boy's arm.

"i-i don't want t-to be l-like this, sannie... i-i just w-want things to be normal again..."

"sometimes normal changes, you know... and that's okay."

"n-no... i-i can't... i-i need to—"

"shh... hey, calm down... i'm right here, just try to relax for now, we can talk after..."

wooyoung nodded and crawled into san's lap, causing the older to bite his lip in pain when wooyoung chose to sit more on his right leg and not his left like normal. he ignored it though as he focused on calming wooyoung down.

when wooyoung was no longer crying, san kissed his forehead softly and wiped the remaining tears from his cheeks, then went back to rubbing the boy's back gently.

"you know, i don't drive... i never learned, i was always too scared to," san explained.

"b-because of your parents, right?"

"yeah... when i was twelve my parents had a lot to drink and decided to drive anyways with me in the back seat. we crashed, i had to go to the hospital... i had a broken wrist and a couple of bruised ribs but they told me if i hadn't been being safe and wearing my seatbelt, i probably would've died. my parents got their licenses suspended for a few months and had to pay some heavy fees, they blamed me for them... um, that was one of the first times things started to get bad at home..."

"san..."

"no, no... it's okay, it's just that now i sometimes feel like i probably should learn how to drive, i feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things people our age do because of what my life is like. you're not alone in being frustrated with yourself for not being able to do something, woo. i feel that way too..."

"w-what if i teach you?"

"are you sure you'll be able to?"

wooyoung shrugged.

"i mean, it's worth a shot, right? if it doesn't work out we can always ask one of your friends to teach you..."

san blushed in embarrassment and sighed a bit, realizing that wooyoung was right. they could teach him, he just didn't want them to see him anxious or anything.

"san?"

"yeah?"

"don't go today... i-i just wanna cuddle."

"of course... anything for you, woo."