best of me | woosan (✓)

- thirty four -

"do you think they're okay?" wooyoung asked worriedly, watching as san opened up the picnic basket.

"i think they are... at least hongjoong and seonghwa. i hope things are going well for the others as well..."

"why wouldn't things be going well for yunho and mingi?"

"mingi wants to be serious with yunho... he was telling me about how he wants to talk about their relationship today, see if yunho's ready or willing to make things official."

"yunho will do it for him... i'm sure of it. he's scared, but i can tell he loves mingi, even if he doesn't want to admit it just yet."

"they're really cute together."

"and so are we," wooyoung smiled cheekily.

san laughed and handed wooyoung a sandwich, then smiled a bit.

"you're adorable..." he muttered.

wooyoung blushed and unwrapped the sandwich, smiling shyly. the two ate in silence, enjoying each other's presence as time passed.

as they finished, san grabbed their trash and put it back in the basket, then moved the basket off the blanket and laid down.

"cuddles," san insisted, smiling.

wooyoung laughed a bit and laid down, resting his head on san's chest and beginning to listen to the boy's heartbeat.

"i'll never get sick of cuddling with you," wooyoung muttered.

"i sure hope you don't... this is something i look forward to every day. getting to lay down and just cuddle with you at the end of every day and throughout the nights..."

"i'll always be there waiting for you. it's much easier to sleep with you by my side..."

"i'm glad... hey, woo?"

"yeah?"

"i know we're already basically together... but would you like to be my boyfriend? like... officially?"

"no," wooyoung joked.

"o-oh..." san muttered, not catching on that wooyoung was joking. "s-so, what's that mean about this? what we're doing?"

"oh, no... sannie, i was joking," wooyoung said softly, looking up at san. "of course i want to be your boyfriend... i love you more than anything else in this world."

san sighed, blinking away tears that had started to form in his eyes.

"thank god... ugh, i should've known you were joking, i feel so stupid," san groaned, trying his best to control himself and not do anything that would worry wooyoung.

"san, you're not stupid. i should've known better, it wasn't the time for me to joke. i don't know how long you've been planning this or how much it took for you to be ready for this, i should've been more respectful."

"i shouldn't have overreacted though..." san whined anxiously.

"you didn't overreact, san... take a deep breath, yeah?" wooyoung whispered, hugging san gently. "i'm here, it's okay..."

"h-how'd you know i was getting anxious?"

"you're my boyfriend, san. i know your ticks and the little things you tend to do when you're anxious..." wooyoung laughed, sitting up. "did you take your pills today?"

"n-no... i-i didn't, i'm sorry..." san muttered, sitting up and starting to hug himself a bit.

"hey, it's okay, sannie... don't be sorry, it's okay. remember what the doctor said? how he wants you to talk to someone if there's anything that makes you not want to take them?"

"mhmm..."

"can you tell me why you didn't take them today?"

"i-i keep getting this image... o-of when i-i tried to do it... i-it scares me... i-i haven't taken my pills in days, woo... i hid them so you wouldn't see..."

"san... why didn't you just tell me? i would've tried to help..."

"i-i'm tired of you having to take care of me, i should be able to take care of myself... i-i'm so sorry i'm like this..."

"stop apologizing!" wooyoung yelled out, starting to get frustrated.

san flinched slightly and stiffened in his place, not used to seeing wooyoung this way. wooyoung took a deep breath, calming himself down quickly before he said anything.

"san... you have nothing to be apologizing for. you can't control the fact that you have anxiety or depression. it's not your fault. nothing's your fault, okay?" wooyoung sighed.

san simply nodded, a bit nervous to say anything.

"i'm sorry for yelling, sannie... i know you don't like that..."

"i-its okay..."

"it's not okay... you lived in a household where every day you were yelled at and beaten... i know that yelling and louder noises trigger you, i've watched you get flinch and then start to get anxious plenty of times when we're with our friends and they get loud. stop saying it's okay when it's not, san. i don't want you to let people hurt you..."

"but woo... i know you didn't mean to..."

wooyoung nodded and hugged san tightly. san closed his eyes for a moment, kissing wooyoung's forehead and then pulling the boy to lay down.

"today didn't turn out as perfect as i wanted it to..." san sighed.

"well it was perfect to me..."

"you got here when i was yelling at jongho for being an ass to seonghwa.. that was so embarrassing..."

"san... it means a lot to me that you stood up for seonghwa. he's been one of my closest friends for years."

"but still, i wanted to be able to greet you properly... and then i couldn't take a joke, which was also embarrassing," san pouted.

"stop focusing on the negatives, sannie... think about the positives. like... today is a beautiful, sunny day and we're out here having a picnic that you should be very proud of for putting together."

"mingi and seonghwa helped me choose what to bring..."

"there's another positive! you have amazing friends who helped you plan this amazing date," wooyoung smiled.

san smiled small, holding wooyoung tightly to his chest.

"c'mon, try it..."

"um... okay, how's this? today you officially became my boyfriend, which i'm really grateful for."

"good! try another, sannie..."

"uh... i got to wake up this morning next to the love of my life," san smiled a bit.

wooyoung giggled, poking san's side lightly.

"now try one that doesn't have to do with me, silly..."

"okay... i... i was able to help hongjoong, i think. he was pretty nervous about hanging out with seonghwa alone, i'm just hoping things are going well."

"i'm sure they are, sannie. they haven't called yet, yeah?"

san nodded.

"good... hey, tomorrow, i want you to take your pills in front of me. i know you're not a fan of them, but i promise you that they will help, you just need to give it a chance."

"okay... can we try this positivity thing again tomorrow too?"

wooyoung smiled brightly, nodding.

"anything you'd like."

"i love you so much, woo... thank you for everything you do for me," san muttered softly, cupping wooyoung's cheek.

"i will always love you more, san. always."