best of me | woosan (✓)

- twenty four -

tw / suicidal thoughts

seonghwa had never felt so alone in his life. he knew this was his own fault, but part of him wished it wasn't. he had no one to turn to, and he didn't know what to do. dark thoughts consumed him daily, to the point where he was unrecognizable.

he wasn't the campus heartthrob park seonghwa anymore. he was a zombie who looked like he hadn't slept in ages. he had fully lost himself and didn't know what to do, so he texted one of the only people he knew he could trust.

seonghwa
i know i'm probably the
last person you want to
hear from... but can we
talk??

yeosang
why would i want to talk to
you? you broke my heart...

seonghwa
i know & i'm so sorry, you
deserve so much better than
me... i know sorry probably
doesn't even cut it, but i just
need a friend right now

yeosang
are you okay?

seonghwa
not exactly...

yeosang
i'll come to your dorm... if
you want of course

seonghwa
please?

yeosang
i'll be there in 5

yeosang got his things together and left his room, quickly making his way over to seonghwa's room and walking inside, knowing the door would be unlocked for him. the door was always open if yeosang was invited over.

"yeosang..." seonghwa muttered softly, sitting up in his bed.

"seonghwa... you look awful, what happened?" yeosang asked softly, sitting down and resting his hand on seonghwa's back.

"i-i happened..."

"why'd you do it, hwa?"

"i-i don't know... w-when you kissed me, i was so surprised... you were so confident about it. something about that made me feel like i couldn't say no to you... like i had to be with you, and i couldn't break you."

"but you still did..."

"i-i didn't think... i should've kept my mouth shut, i should've waited to do anything with hongjoong... and now i've lost my friends, and the boy i had fallen for."

"i'm calling wooyoung..."

"w-what? w-why?"

"you need to apologize to him. he's probably the most hurt by everything that happened. if you can get his forgiveness, then maybe things won't turn out so bad. you know yunho and i will follow whatever woo does."

"what about hongjoong?" seonghwa asked shyly.

"you broke his heart, hwa... he feels used. i'm sorry, you have to figure that one out on your own."

yeosang started to type in wooyoung's name, but stopped when seonghwa broke down to tears.

"i-i can't do this anymore, sangie... i'm so tired... i-i'd rather die than deal with this pain anymore."

"seonghwa, no..." yeosang said sternly, putting down his phone and grabbing seonghwa's shoulders.

"y-you're all doing so good w-without me... w-what's the point?"

"the point is that we still love you and care for you... you just hurt us and we had to distance ourselves a bit... that never meant we weren't there in case you needed us or that you were alone. you've always had us and will forever have us."

yeosang pulled seonghwa into a hug, his own anxiety rising slightly. he had no idea that seonghwa felt this way, that it had all been hurting him so badly. he just wanted for things to be okay again.

"sangie..."

"shh... just try to relax, okay? i'm here, i'm not leaving you alone until i know you're going to be okay without me here..."

seonghwa rested his head on yeosang's shoulder and the younger boy quickly called wooyoung.

"sangie? what's up? you never call this late..."

"i'm with seonghwa right now... woo, it's bad..."

"what? what do you mean?"

"maybe you should just talk to him... i-i don't want to overstep."

"okay... put him on," wooyoung said softly, chewing his lip.

"it's wooyoung," yeosang whispered, handing seonghwa the phone.

"w-wooyoung?"

"seonghwa... what's wrong?"

"i-i'm so sorry... i-i messed up s-so bad... i-i—"

"seonghwa, breathe... why did yeosang call me? what's going on that made him call me at midnight? he never calls this late unless it's serious..."

"i-i'm sorry h-he shouldn't have c—"

"no! seonghwa, stop it. talk to me..."

"i-i don't deserve to b-be here a-anymore..."

"yes you do, hwa... i know it's tough and you're upset with yourself for your wrongs, but you do deserve to be here. is there anything i can do to convince you of that?"

"i-i don't know..."

"i forgave you a long time ago, hwa. it's san who you need to apologize to. he's sleeping now though..."

"c-can you come tomorrow? y-you and san?"

"only if you promise not to hurt yourself. you and sangie both need to get some sleep and that means he's gonna have to get going soon... i don't want him worrying about you when he leaves your room."

"i-i promise..."

"good... we'll be there during lunch break, if that's okay?"

"perfect," seonghwa whispered, beginning to calm down.

"i'm gonna go now, can you give the phone to sangie so i can say bye?"

"okay.. bye, woo... i-i'll see you tomorrow."

"see you tomorrow, hwa."

seonghwa handed yeosang his phone back and laid down, trying to distract himself from his dark thoughts. yeosang rubbed the boy's back as he said his own goodbyes to wooyoung, then looked at seonghwa.

"are you sure you'll be okay on your own? i can always see if yunho's willing to give up his bed tonight..."

"no, i-i can't ask him to do that for me... i'll be okay, sangie..."

"you're sure?"

"i'll text you if i need you, okay?"

"promise?"

seonghwa nodded, squeezing yeosang's hand for a moment.

"i promise...."

-
hello friends i have time of love stuck in my head rn :]