Student: (Clears throat and takes a deep breath)
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Wait!!!
Student: (looking disappointed) What?
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Is your speech about the Mayans?
Student: Why?
Mrs. Teacher Lady: (*Sigh*) Because, that was the assignment.
Student: Oh really?.... Ok then.
(Long awkward silence)
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Student?
Student: Yes?
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Your speech doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the Mayans, does it?
Student: Of course it does! That's what the assignment is!
Mrs. Teacher Lady: I give up! Let's just get this over with!
Student: (Clears throat, again) Long ago in the ancient town of New Zealand, there lived an awesome group of people called the Mayamarimbarbarians or "Mayans".
Jimmy: What? The Mayans weren't...
Student: Please hold all questions till the end.
Jimmy: But...
Student: I said to hold your freaking questions till the end! This is taking forever!
Jimmy: ..........
Student: Ok where was I? Right, the awesome Mayans! Ok so they lived in this awesome world where everyone got their own butler, even your butler had his own butler... with a mustache. Only people (cough, cough) Like Jimmy! (cough, cough) who were shunned by the others wouldn't get a butler.
One day while the Mayans were hunting in the cold desert they came across something so cute that half of the men killed themselves on the spot....
That's right! You all know what I'm talking about...
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Oh no!
Student: It was a baby puppy!
(Class stares in awe)
What? Is there something on my eye?
Mrs. Teacher Lady: You didn't mention Intergalactic Clowns!
Student: I know... ls that a problem?
Mrs. Teacher Lady: No, no! Continue!
Student: But then, the cute little puppy was eaten by a hideous looking Intergalactic Clown!
Mrs. Teacher Lady: Ugh! I give up!
Student: The Mayans got angry and beat up all the Intergalactic Clowns until they left New Zealand to go back to their home planet of UrANUS.
But they swore that they would return on 12-21-2012 and destroy all the humans.
And that is how the world will end!
(The End!)
YOU ARE READING
Your stupid to read this story (2012 Watty Awards)
HumorThere's no need for a description, the title says it all. I like cake. And cookies. But not celery. Celery's gross. Hahahaha, that wasn't supposed to show up in the description... Oh well.
