Student: Religion.
The ultimate truth? Or humanity's greatest downfall?
Person 1: That got serious real quick.
Student: That's because religion is no joking matter. *looks around cautiously* If you say one wrong thing then you've got a bunch of believers yelling at you about cultural ignorance and offensive jokes.
Person 1: So no jokes about catholic priests and little boys?
Student: Hey! That is offensive. *to the side* but if you've got a good one tell me when the readers leave.
Anyway back to the matter at hand.
Person 1: Wait does that mean no catholic jokes at all?
Student: *sigh* Fine, one catholic priest joke and that's it.
Person 1: Okay... How do you get a nun pregnant?
Jimmy: I don't think this joke is appropriate for a school environment!
Student: Shut up Jimmy! Nobody asked you.
Person 1: You dress her up as an alter-boy! *Tad-aaaa!!!!*
Jimmy: I'm telling Mrs. Teacher-Lady on you Student!
Student: I said shut up! You better listen to me before I tape you to a wall!
Person 1: *pout* The one time I get to make a joke you guys totally ruin it. No one's ever going to remember me. *sounds of ducktape and shouting * Seriously, how many people remembered Student had a best friend? And for godsake my name isn't Person 1 it's ---
Student: Well, now that Jimmy's taken care of I can finally tell you all the truth. The truth is that all of your stupid religions are pointless because there is only one true religion. My religion.
Introducing the Church of Student!
We have everything you could possibly want in a religion! Our sermons are held on an island surrounded by a lazy river that all parishioners are expected to to ride on the whole time.
Some religions force you to become cannibals. Disgusting. I would never make my beloved subjects do that! My subjects deserve only the best. Every person who attends the service leaves with their choice of 2 cookies, 2 brownies or 1 large piece of cake. To join all you have to do is sell your soul to me, and admit fully to the existence of intergalactic clowns.
Person 1: This sounds like a late night tv advertisment.
Student: QUIET HEATHEN! BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR PROPHET!
THE END
YOU ARE READING
Your stupid to read this story (2012 Watty Awards)
HumorThere's no need for a description, the title says it all. I like cake. And cookies. But not celery. Celery's gross. Hahahaha, that wasn't supposed to show up in the description... Oh well.
