Nang makauwi ako ay hindi ko na inalam pa kung naroon sila daddy o wala. I wonder who's my real father. I wonder if ever I grew up with him... Do I need to do this, too? Will it be hurt like this if ever I'm on his side? Will he understand me and our situation? If ever, our only enemy is my passion. Not my friends... that once been my opponent in our love story. Not my family. Not his family...
Nagbabad lang ako sa bathtub at doon umiyak ng umiyak hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na ako roon. Nagising na lamang ako ng maga-alas kwatro na ng madaling araw. I clean myself up and change into comfortable clothes. I didn't wore my night dress because I don't think I can sleep this time. I'm just seating at the edge of my bed until my gazed turned to those things at the side of my door. This swept to my hands when I broke down after I entered my room.
Kinuha ko ang mga iyon at nilagay sa kama ko. His hoodie gift for me... I hugged it and before I even cry I wore it and hugged it by myself, imagining it's him. I took his another gift for me. Our drawing portraits. It's so many. He really gave an efforts for this, huh. Palagi naman. But in the end I ruined our day. I ruined his life. My life. I'm just staring at it one by one while reminiscing what happened on that pictures. We were so happy back then. Naalala ko pa 'yung roses na binigay niya sa'kin. Alam kong pinag-ipunan niya iyon pati na rin ang mga ito. Lahat ng binibigay niya sa'kin ay pinaghihirapan niya. And yet, iniwan ko pa iyon doon kasama niya.
What is he doing right now? Nakauwi na ba siya? Iniwan ko lang siya doon. Nakaluhod at naghihintay ng sagot ko. Ang sama-sama ko... Sana ay maayos siyang nakauwi. That's all I'm wishing for now. Dahil alam kong hindi pa rin mawawala ang sakit na dinulot ko sa kaniya. But please, God, take care of him. Heal him immediately. I don't wanna see him hurting because of me again.
Maya-maya ay napagpasiyahan kong pumunta muna sa balcony para magpahangin at kumalma. I'm physically and emotionally tired. I need some air to breathe. I was hugging myself when the cold breeze hugged my body. When I suddenly heard a noise, I looked around until I stopped my gazed to the front gate where the guards were stopping someone to make a noise.
I gulped when I saw him. He's shouting my name from afar. He can't see me from here but I can see him clearly even it's still dimmed. Agad akong lumabas ng kwarto ko at dahan-dahang bumaba ng hagdan. Iniingatang hindi makagawa ng anumang ingay. Hindi ko alam kung nandito na ba sila mom o mamaya pa ang uwi nila. At natatakot akong madatnan nila si Jiu dito.
"Ma'am, tumawag na po kami ng guards sa village-"
"No, no, let me handle this. Don't let them come here," putol ko sa guard na sumalubong sa'kin. "Stop." awat ko sa mga guards na pumipigil sa kaniya. They were hurting him!
"Jeenah..." aniya ng makalapit ako sa kaniya. Pinanatili ko ang ilang metrong layo namin sa isat-isa dahil baka hindi ako makapagpigil at mayakap ko siya.
Tinignan ko ang kabuuan niya, "What are you doing here, Jiu? Are you drunk?!"
"No,"
"Hindi ka pa ba umuuwi?" nanatiling malamig ang boses ko kahit labis na ang pag-aalalang nararamdaman ko.
"Jeenah, bumalik ka na..." pain was evident to his eyes.
"Go home, Jiu. You're just drunk."
"Ayoko."
"You're so stubborn! Umuwi ka na at huwag ka ng manggulo dito,"
"Jeenah, hindi ako aalis hanggat hindi mo binabawi lahat ng sinabi mo,"
"Hindi ko 'yon babawiin. Lasing ka na, Jiulian, hindi mo na alam ang ginagawa mo!"
YOU ARE READING
Forgive or Forget
Romansa"In life, there's actually two option; it's either you'd forgive those people who hurt you, or you'd just forget them and start a new beginning."
