Bago pa man ako makasagot ay binuksan niya na ang suit ko at bahagya akong tinulak para makapasok, saka ito agarang sinara. Aba! Hindi na rin ako nag-abala pang buksan ulit iyon dahil hindi ko din naman alam ang sasabihin ko. Pero shit! Totoo ba 'yon? He likes me? Really? Kinikilig ako!
Hanggang sa makarating ako sa shooting ay maganda ang ngiti ko. Hindi ko maalis sa isip ko 'yung mga sinabi niya, at pag naiisip ko iyon ay para kong high school na kilig na kilig!
The shooting went smooth, except the fact, that I'm ignoring Hans when it's not needed.
Kinabukasan ay kailangan kong umabsent dahil may shooting kami ng umagang iyon. Naiintindihan naman iyon ng mga prof at binibigyan na lang ako ng mga kailang practice-in at gawin para makahabol. Nanghi-hiram na lang din ako ng notes sa mga blockmates ko kapag may mga ganito.
"Jen," Hans called me after our lunch with the others. I was about to walk away from him, when he held my arm. "Jen, please, I'm so sorry. Patawarin mo na ko, please." rinig ko ang lungkot sa boses niya.
"Tama na, Hans." akmang maglalakad na ko papalayo sa kaniya ng harangan niya ang dadaanan ko.
"Jen, I'm begging you, forgive me. I j-just been out of control. Sorry..." nagbaba siya ng tingin.
Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako. "You're always doing that, Hans. You're always doing a mistake, and after that you'd ask for my forgiveness, then I'd forgive you. But you'll repeat it again. Nagsasawa na ko, tama na."
Napapikit siya ng mariin na para bang hirap na hirap na siya sa sitwasyon namin ngayon. Parang kaunti na lang ay iiyak na siya sa harapan ko. Kaunti na lang luluhod na siya at magmamakaawa ulit na balikan ko siya. Nasasaktan ako. Ayoko ng ganito. Kahit papaano naman ay may pakialam pa rin ako sa kaniya, but he hurt me. He hurt me and it cause me to hate myself too, because I felt that it's all my fault. It's my fault why he cheated. But then... Jiulian came. He came and in just one snap, I forgot to think that I'm worthless. That I don't deserve any kind of love.
I remembered when we were still together.
"In one, two, three!" he said while his hands was on my eyes. "Surprise! Happy 3rd anniversary, baby!"
I looked around. We're inside of a fancy restaurant. There's a table that full of my favorite foods, there's a candle lights through around.
Our pictures together was been hanging from the ceiling. And there I saw on the side some musicians who's playing their own instruments.
I looked at him while my eyes was blurry because of tears, tears of joy, specifically. He's smiling at me widely, like I'm the most beautiful girl that he'd ever seen. Like he's so lucky to have me. His brown eyes was telling it. Those brown eyes that I treasured the most."You prepared all of this?" I said while my tears was flowing uncontrollably.
"Yeah, ofcourse. You deserve all of it. I know that it's still not enough-"
"Are you crazy? Sobra-sobra pa 'to! I can't explain what I'm feeling right now, baby. I just know that... I'm happy. I really am."
"Really? Thank, God! You deserve to be happy, Jen. I love you so damn much!" then he hugged me tightly. I really love this man!
It's his birthday today, and he's still in Canada because of Family gatherings. Sinasama niya pa nga sana ko kaso hinayaan ko na lang muna siya sa pamilya niya. He said, he'd come back before his birthday but until now, wala pa rin siya. Hindi siya sumasagot sa messages and calls ko, even sa social media, wala. I'm worried now. Hindi naman siya ganito eh. I tried to call tita, his mom, but she's not answering it, either.
YOU ARE READING
Forgive or Forget
Romance"In life, there's actually two option; it's either you'd forgive those people who hurt you, or you'd just forget them and start a new beginning."
