CHAPTER TWO
LOVE ME
"To forget easily is a gift."
Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko parin yung huling sinabi ni Lisha sa latest vlog niya. Parang bumagay kasi yung sinabi niya sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.
"Did I ruin their friendship?" Nanlulumong tanong ko kay Jean na katabi kong nakaupo. Wala siyang lakad ngayon kaya siya ang tinawagan ko. Kailangan ko kasi ng kausap.
It's been days since Slater's party. Hiyang-hiya ako sa sarili ko. Parang dahil sa galit ko sa kaibigan nila, galit narin sila sa kanya.
Bern left the party immediately. It was Mike who controlled the situation smoothly because kuya Glen and Jacob were not present that night. Sinamahan siya ni Clark para kausapin ito.
He wasn't suppose to be there.
He's not in good terms with Slater. Humingi pa nga ng pasensiya si Slater sa'kin when he found out that Bern approached me. Nakaalis na kasi si Bern kasama si Mike at Clark nang malaman niyang pumunta pala ito. Sabi ko naman there was no harm done and I handled it well.
I know I was hurt but I don't mean to make his friends take my side. Hindi sila ang magkaaway.
They've been friends for so long and seeing them being like that to Bern sa party, naguilty ako. Hindi para kay Bern kundi para sa friendship nilang pito. Ayokong masira yun dahil lang galit parin ako sa kaibigan nila. But it's really hard to forget.
I still hate him.
"It's not only because of that kaya nila hinahayaan muna si Bern. They said he needs to learn his lesson," sagot ni Jean sa'kin.
"Pero hindi naman sila damay sa ginawa niya."
Jean reclined, tinukod niya ang mga kamay sa higaan bilang suporta sa katawan niya. "Alam mo Jess, some people needs to be left alone to realize their mistakes. Kinausap na nila ito ng maayos. Pinigilan nila pero hindi parin nakinig. Now he's suffering the consequences. They still care for him that's why they're doing this. Hindi mo kasalanan yun."
Although they did not witnessed what happened, the jerk's sudden departure was enough for them to conclude na may hindi magandang nangyari sa pool area that night.
They said the boys tried to stop him. But he was obviously out of his mind that night kaya hindi ito nakinig sa kanila.
"May mga kasalanan kasi talaga na mahirap makalimutan. Kahit pa kasi napatawad mo na, the damage has been done. Kaya naiintindihan kita. I experienced the same thing before." Tuluyan nang nahiga si Jean sa kama ko. Naging interesado naman ako sa susunod niyang sasabihin.
"You know I used to get bullied."
Umayos ako ng upo, giving her my full attention. It's been so long since the last time she talked about this. She didn't told us how it happened or who did it to her-her trauma. Ang alam lang namin ay malaki ang naging epekto nito sa kanya.
"It was my tenth birthday." Nakatingin siya sa kisame, parang pinapanuod niya dun ang nangyari noon. Like everything's flashing above us. Nakigaya narin ako sa kanya at humiga rin.
"I was never conscious about how I look. I knew I was pretty. But the kids around us would always say that I dress like an old lady. Pati mga kaibigan ni mommy palagi akong sinasabihan that I'd be prettier if I wear clothes appropriate for my age and get rid of outdated bangs. Masyado raw akong nerd tignan. People started calling me that. Even our group of friends dati na akala ko kasangga natin, they called me Jean "The Nerd" Ruby behind my back. "
Aside from avoiding the catfights, isang dahilan din kung ba't lumayo kami sa mga so-called friends namin nung elementary ay dahil binubully nila si Jean. Lisha caught them talking about her. They were laughing and humiliating Jean when we're not with them.
