not throwing away my shot

Chapter 12 - Henry Laurens

POV JOHN
"He's so pretty" Alex mumbles sleepily, snuggled into my chest as he strokes Anthony.
"I love him" i grin, combing Alex's freshly washed hair through my fingers rhythmically, until he falls asleep under my arm. His face is plump from resting his cheek on his my chest and his breathing is far slower and calmer. It's not often you see Alexander this calm unless he is asleep. He's an outgoing firecracker, who is always planning what crazy adventure to do next, always starting arguments with Jefferson, completely non stop. Seeing him like this is rather soothing and quite humbling.

My phone pings making the screen illuminate the room. It's from my father yet again.

Dad: Come home tonight or I'm coming to your dormitory

Shit. I swallow down the lump of anxiety growing in my throat. I can't have him come to the dorm. If he found out I wasn't only gay but had a boyfriend, he'd kill both of us. And I'm not exaggerating.

Cautiously, I detangle myself from Alex's limbs without waking him and place Anthony back in his tank. I grab my raincoat and head out the door, careful not to wake my roommates. Me and Peggy had a plan to make my dad think I was straight and it actually worked for a while. She pretended to be my girlfriend, she came to one dinner with the whole family. It was the perfect plan. But it fell apart when I never met up with her unless with the group, he quickly became very suspicious and resumed his 'treatment'.

"Hello father" I look at my feet, tears in my eyes as he opens the door,
"Time for treatment John" he scowls, holding his belt in his hands.

POV ALEXANDER
I stretch the next morning, my limbs stiff and yet an uncommonly amazing happiness sits on my chest. That Christmas morning feeling when you know something incredible is going to happen even before you've truly woken up and know what it is. I can hear water running from the shower and I notice that John isn't in bed with me. I wrap the blanket around my shoulders and decide to explore.
"Hello John?" I tap on the door as the water runs still.
"Hey angel! I'll be two minutes!" He cries merrily.

As I wait outside the bathroom i do an odd shuffle dance to keep warm until he eventually comes out in a hoodie and sweatpants - his curls dripping wet.
"Hey your eyes are bloodshot, you okay?" I pout,
"Just a bit of soap in my eyes" he smiles halfheartedily. Somethings definitely wrong.

Then suddenly he kisses my lips with such passion, like he believes the kiss could transport us to another world. His damp ringlets tickling my nose, making fireworks go off in my heart as he pulls me closer to him making me gasp as he nibbles at my bottom lip, almost but not quite making me forget about his bloodshot eyes. I pull away and stroke his lip with my thumb, drawing circles gently.

"Are you okay?" I mumble
"Yes, don't worry"
"It's my job to worry" I grin as I run my hand up the back of his hoodie on bare skin... until I come across and ungodly ridge... a wound. John hisses as soon as my fingers meet the gaping cut. I pull my shaking hand away and see my fingertips are laced with warm, crimson blood.
"John... what is this?"
"It's nothing"
"Last time you said that you had a psycho boyfriend"
"How about a psycho father" he laughs but instantly I see the regret in his eyes, like he wishes he'd never said a thing.
"Your father did this?" I practically demand as I stare him dead in the eye, anger already bubbling up inside me like a volcano about to explode.
"Technically, yes but when you add up all the contributing factors-"
"-right that's it, what's his address"
"No alex please-"
"Whats ze commotion?" Lafayette cries rubbing his eyes.
"Please don't say" John whispers desperately. Honestly if it was anyone else, I'd be telling Lafayette within in an instant, without a shadow of a doubt. You get nothing if you wait for it, and doing nothing about John's father seems completely wrong to me. But instead, I bite my tongue and swallow my pride.
"Lovers tiff" I smile as best as I can.

I'll sort this by myself if I have to.