What A Joke [SLOW UPDATES]

No, just stop

"You know, we just get along so well. You're the only one that can make me feel truly comfortable and safe." Izuku smiled kindly as he spoke. "You hold me up when I need it the most, and I thank you for that. I truly do love you, my sweet bed."

Izuku was back at it again, wrapped up in hospital bedsheets at none other than UA's infirmary. He honestly didn't mind being alone with nothing but the hospital sheets. In fact, he preferred it. Just because Izuku always knows how to respond to idiots, doesn't mean he loves socializing. And let's be honest here, it's better if Izuku stays silent—otherwise there is a one hundred and ten percent chance of a fight breaking out.

The door to the nurses office creaked open. "Oh, you're awake sooner than expected." Recovery Girl said with a slight raise of her eyebrows. "What are you doing anyways?"

"I am thanking this wonderful bed for providing me with a happiness that no one else can." Izuku stroked the bed slowly.

"Hmm, your medical file never said anything about having a mental illness other than PTSD and depression. Maybe I should run some more tests, you don't exactly seem like the most sane person." Recovery Girl flipped through her notes.

"You don't need to take tests to know I'm insane." Izuku deadpanned. "Now let me sleep. I don't want to be scolded for blowing my head off yet." He flipped to his other side so that his back was to the nurse.

That may have been a bad idea though, because all he got was a hard smack to the head with the old lady's cane. "Ow! I just lost my head! I don't need you to take it off again!"

The lady ignored that statement. "You idiot! How did you even manage to decapitate yourself and traumatize half of class 1-A on your first day?" She scolded the boy—who was still rubbing his head with a pout.

"I didn't ask the villains to show up! How is that my fault?" Izuku whined while hugging a pillow to his chest.

"You were the one with the gun! You pulled the trigger! If you hadn't been so reckless, everything would've been fine!" Recovery Girl brought her can to Izuku's head once again. "You owe an apology to those students."

"Ugh! They're heroes in training! They should learn how to not freak out when someone shoots their head off!" Izuku huffed.

Recovery Girl threw her hands in exasperation. "There were villains—who have killed—that passed out because of you! You idiot!"

"Well those villains should learn how to not be such a wimp!"

Recovery Girl opened her mouth to retaliate but was thankfully cut off by the door opening. In the doorway was none other than the rat and hobo we all love and adore. "Thank god you two are here! I was about to strangle this child!" Recovery Girl glared at the idiot in question.

"You know, that's not a bad idea. You could probably kill me for good—OW! Stop hitting me you old lady!" Izuku huffed while slouching back onto the bed's pillows.

"Good to see you are doing fine, Izuku." Nezu smiled, seemingly unfazed by the fighting.

"I was fine, but with all the hits that crazy nurse has given me, I will probably have a concussion!" He said while gesturing to Recovery Girl—who was raising her ane into the air to whack Izuku once again.

"We both know your body would heal in a matter of seconds if you got a concussion anyways." She scowled.

"Well that doesn't mean I want a concussion!" Izuku retorted back.

"Okay, okay. Let's refrain from fighting." Nezu smiled. "I won't be very happy if you two were to tear down my school with this useless bickering." The mouse-bear-dog-thing had a sinister smile across his face which basically said, 'Do anything to hurt this school and you'll be begging for mercy'. Recovery Girl and Izuku were quick to quiet down.