What A Joke [SLOW UPDATES]

Christler Special

"Maybe my dad can pick up eggnog while he's out getting the milk . . ." Izuku hummed to himself in thought as class 1-A sat in the dorm's common room.

Bakugo glanced over with a cocked eyebrow. "Your dad? I thought the bastard left years ago."

Izuku nodded. "Yeah, he left to get the milk when I was a toddler. He should be back soon . . . maybe. Don't all dads do this at some point?" The students stared at him, unsure whether the boy was serious or not.

"So all I have to do is ask my father to get some milk and he is gone?" Todoroki asked. "If you don't mind, I have to go make a call." And with that, the heterochromatic boy was up and out of the room—wearing a determined expression.

"Well anyways . . . are you guys ready for the secret Santa gift exchange?" Uraraka asked with a nervous giggle.

"Hahaha—what now?" Denki swung his head to Uraraka in question.

"Oh yeah! I finished my shopping weeks ago! It's best to go Christmas shopping when the crowds are still low in the beginning of the season!" Momo said with a proud smile.

"Don't lie to us Momo, we all know damn well you used your quirk." Izuku frowned.

"W-well I—" She was cut off by a frowning Izuku shaking his head.

"You can create basically anything, but you won't make me a bomb?!" The greenette sighed in defeat. "At this point, I'm just going to ask Hatsume for help. I bet she could accidentally create a grenade with a blind fold on and her hands tied."

"Oh lord, we are all going to die." Sero stated with a sigh. "At least want me when you plan on asking Hatsume about the bomb so I can take one more hit before death."

"Understandable." Izuku replied.

Mineta stared at the group with lustful eyes. "Well, I'm just hoping to get a couple magazines or possibly used panties for Christmas."

"No, I think all you're getting is a restraining order." Jiro said with a bright smile.

Izuku monotonously shook his head. "Why get a restraining order when you can give him a knife to the heart? That would be such a heartwarming gift."

"That pun was not manly bro . . ." Kirishima said with a sad frown.

"Be quiet and let me have this."

"Please do not make awful puns or death threats. We are students of UA and should act maturely." Iida scolded.

"Why are we even having this discussion when Christmas dinner isn't even ready?" Hagakure questioned the group—who groaned.

Uraraka shyly rubbed her neck. "My family usually sticks to buying Taco Bell . . ."

Tokoyami stared at the group with a casting shadow over his face. "I prefer to feast upon the souls of the unworthy."

Kaminari excitedly swung his arms. "I'd be fine with just an apple charger or two."

Momo shook her head while pulling out her credit card. "If it's food you guys want, then why don't I just have my private chef come over?"

Izuku puffed out his chest with a smile. "Not to brag or anything, but I can make a killer kneecap soup!"

"Izuku! What did I say about bad puns?!" Iida yelled with his signature chopping gestures.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CLASS?!" Bakugo jumped to his feet. "JUST LEAVE THE COOKING TO ME BEFORE SOMEONE IS SENT TO JAIL!"

Kirishima put his hands out defensively. "Chill out Bakubro, they're only joking. No one is going to end up in prison."

"Is that a challenge? I've done it before and I'll do it again." Izuku's mind was already swarming with plans on how to be put behind bars. Plans that had very high success rates.