What A Joke [SLOW UPDATES]

Sugar, Spice, and Everything Not Kid Friendly

Izuku's was chillin. He was at the cafeteria, finally away from the MILF—uh, he means Midnight. And he had a snack in his hand. Don't ask how because Izuku doesn't exactly remember either.

He felt a little bit like James Bond, since he was stealthily in a corner just observing people. If he wasn't allowed to die, he was going analyze everyone to use for future references. Pro tip Izuku graciously gives everyone he meets: Be a user, not an abuser.

He looked down at the rice ball in his hand. It looked good, suspiciously white though. Izuku may be inherently white himself but looking at pasty white things hurt his eyes. Especially when they're cold, rubbery and nearly translucent . . . (No, he's not talking about dead bodies. Maybe).

Speaking of the lovely dead. He envied those life size rubber dolls. Every time he saw one (once again, no one asks why or how he manages to see a multitude of corpses; it's just acceptance), he would think; 'why is it you, and not me?'

Another reason he didn't like to look at the super white rice ball because he didn't believe in white supremacy. He was tired of three lettered evil organizations, LOV, CIA, KKK . . . it was a lot to deal with.

Disregarding his thoughts, he decided to give the food a chance and took a bite out of the rice ball. Upon the flavor reaching his tongue, he nearly cried tears of joy, 'It tastes like grim reaper d-' He was cut off by his own light hiccup as a dramatic tear actually ran down his face. It was delicious.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of sound and some people have ears that work, he was discovered by none other than Mineta. The despicable pitter patter of those tiny feet registered too late in Izuku's ears.

"Midoriya?" The grapist roach asked, his eyes alight and a weird smile on his face. "What are you doing over here?"

Izuku's tears stopped immediately and so did the act of eating the rice ball. He thought he might cry again due to sadness but he was more annoyed about seeing the four foot abomination than despaired. He also couldn't enjoy his food when something disgusting popped in front of him.

"Eating," The green haired child deadpanned, staring blankly into Mineta's eyes. "What do you want?"

Mineta's smiled widened a bit and something flashed in his beady little eyes. "I just found out about a mandatory event."

Izuku raised an eyebrow, he was trying to trick one of the staff members? Really? 'You're so stupid it makes Nomu look smart.' He decided to play along anyways because depending on what it is, it could be fun.

"Oh? And what is it?" The freckled boy tilted his head, playing the innocent victim. He really should become an actor, he was getting good at this.

"Well, there has to be cheerleaders out on the field, and they have to be in cheerleader costume..." Mineta finished, his eyes traveled to the skin tight costume Izuku was wearing and the green haired devil saw exactly what the student was trying to get at.

'You stupid little pervert,' Izuku cooed in his head. 'I'm going to kick you out a window later.'

"Really? Where did you hear this?" Izuku pretended to play innocent, and since he was built with an angelic face, the task was easily taken on.

"Another staff member, they said it was a last minute decision." Mineta just vaguely spit out words that seemed like they could make sense if you didn't pay attention.

Of course, the freckled devil-spawn had a plan along these lines anyways so he threw common sense away and played dumb. He nodded and his eyes widened slightly as if surprised.

"I see. Thank you for telling me," Izuku finished the sentence in his mind. '—the biggest lie I've ever heard besides my dad saying he was going to get milk and come back before dinner.'