Hawk's Princess

Chapter 37

For the past month Eli and I haven't got any sleep at night and the only time we get some sleep is when I go to his house after karate and I'm only over there from 5 to 9. That's four hours of sleep, some people might think it's a lot but to us who aren't getting any sleep at night and barley in the day it's not a lot. Things at my dad's aren't great either, it's not with his other family, it's with me. Him and I have been getting into fight constantly and it's always about the same thing, the same is thing is me not spending enough time with the "family". He doesn't understand that yes I love Abuela, Ms. Diaz and Miguel but they aren't my family. Family are the people that stick by you no matter what and people that are there for you more than just living in your house. I tried explaining that I didn't want this in the first place and I am going to continue to stay by myself in the room and not come out and I am going to sneak around all day so I don't have to see anyone. I also have tried explaining  I have nothing against anyone I just am used to being by myself and living on my own all the time. We never understands and he always end up sending me to my room where I stay anyway. I love being friends with Miguel, but I honestly don't see him anything more than a friend that I met 6 months ago. I take any chance to stay away from my dad's, because every time I see him like I said it always end up in a fight. It was 4 in the morning and I was eating cereal in the kitchen.

"Good morning Madilyn." Miguel walked in the kitchen.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked.

"I can't fall back asleep so I decided I am going to make breakfast for every one." He went to the fridge.

"Ok, well I am finishing up so I'll be out of your way." I got up.

"Why are you awake?" He asked.

"I am always here at 4 to eat breakfast." I explained.

"Why don't you eat with us?" He set eggs on the counter.

"Because I feel like I don't belong and also I like being alone." I washed my dish.

"You don't want to be here do you?" He stood next to me.

"No, I don't. I'm not happy here. Don't get me wrong it's not you or your family but I am not cut out for this." I explained.

"You do just fine with Hawk and his family. What is different about them?" He wanted to know more.

"That's none of your business." I didn't need to explain myself.

"No, what's the difference? We barley see you and when we do you and dad always fight." He was getting upset.

"Did you just call my dad your dad?" I was shocked.

"Yes I did, he is the closest thing that I have to a dad and he is fine with it." He explained.

I'm not doing this right now." I started to walk out.

"Do you have a problem with me calling him dad? He followed me.

"No, I don't." I kept walking.

"What is the deal with you? You want to be part of Hawk's family so bad but you don't want to be part of your own dad's family? What is it, are you jealous that he gives us attention and not you anymore?" He was really pushing his limits.

I didn't speak because if I did I knew I was going to blow up and loose it.

Miguel grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"What is it Madilyn?" He was yelling.

"You're going to wake every one up be quiet." I was trying to stay calm.

"No, tell me" He was yelling.

"Fine. I am far from jealous of your new family, I could care less. I raised myself Miguel, my dad wasn't even around half the time. I have nothing against your family, hell I love your family and I am so happy that your mom found happiness with my dad. I grew up by myself I am not used to having a family, and the difference between Hawk's family and this one is his is there for me and takes care of me and we never fight like I do here with you guys. And don't you dare say I am trying to blame you or your family, I'm not. The biggest difference is Hawk's parents are still married. I lost my mom Miguel and my dad promised me ever since I was little that he could never love another women besides my mom and he lied about it for six months. Don't you think that hurt me, god and my two bestfriends knew about it and said nothing. I didn't want this family Miguel, I loved being by myself living on my own, but no my dad decided he wanted a bigger family and that is perfectly fine but I didn't want any part of it. I wanted to move in with Hawk and his family but no my dad doesn't let me. The reason is because I think he wants to act like the dad of the year with his new family and if he looses me everyone is going to start talking and say a whole bunch of bull shit when in reality I made the decision to move out. This past month I have lost so many hours of sleep and no one has noticed it besides Hawk and his family because I go to them for my problems because I know they care about me. I'm not saying you guys don't but I don't belong in this family, I belong with Hawk and his family. Hawk has lost so much sleep to and you haven't even noticed it, he is supposed to be your bestfriend and you haven't even asked him how he is doing. Hawk and I are all we have at this point. Hawk and his family are my everything and no one is going to take that away from me. I want to move out so bad but I can't because my dad won't let me. This house doesn't feel like home to me, it might to you but not to me. I don't belong with this family." I was crying because I was angry and sad at the same time.