A Queen Among the Jocks (boy x boy)

Part 22

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As I sat in my room that night, I felt the need to get drunk. I wanted to forget everything that happened that day and just drift off to sleep. I had been lying to others all day and I couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt I had for Elliot. I was such an idiot for not being honest with him. Why couldn't I like him the same way I felt for TJ? I knew that what TJ felt for me was probably just pure lust, but I couldn't help the way I felt.

I went to a store and bought a bottle of soju. As I drank, I took a picture of the bottle, the sprite, and Yakult I've been drinking and uploaded it to my Insta story. As I was browsing who viewed it, I saw an account with the username "TJD" and TJ's half-naked profile picture. I didn't know he was following me already, and I couldn't recall following him before.

Suddenly, my phone rang with his name flashing on the screen. I could feel the alcohol kicking in as I answered the call.

"Well, someone is having fun," he said huskily. I didn't say a word, and he followed up with, "Hmmm, is there a problem? Why are you drinking?" I stayed silent and just felt pissed off.

"Are you with someone?" he asked again. I wanted to know the truth.

"Asshole!" I replied. "Why are you doing this to me? Why am I feeling like this to you?" I closed my eyes as I paused, feeling my head start to spin. He was about to speak, but I cut him off. "You just want to FUCK ME, Yeah? And yet I felt attracted to you, and you keep on teasing me!" I felt like shouting right now, not giving a damn whatever left my mouth.

I wasn't sure if I heard a deep sigh from the other line before I heard someone speak.

"I don't know, I guess it is true, I want to fuck you b--." I ended the call and turned off my phone. I threw my phone out of my bed, picked up a pillow, and shoved it to my face. I didn't want to hear it. I was drunk, but I totally understood what he was about to say.

These boys were such a pain in the ass. I wasn't his toy, and he couldn't just call me whenever he felt like it. I wasn't a booty call, and I had real feelings. It was real, and I hated that some part of me was attracted to him.

I was fucked up, and I couldn't take it. Why was this day so confusing? Earlier, I was happy, delighted even as butterflies in my stomach were rumbling. Then all of a sudden, I was anxious, disappointed, and feeling stupid.

What a turn of events. I was crying now. I shut my eyes and was forced to sleep.

The next morning, I kept myself positive. I could recall all that happened last night, and I had a plan in mind. I was going to do it. I turned my phone back on, and there were 42 missed calls from god knows who. I also received a text from him asking me to talk it out later. I did not bother to reply. I couldn't deal with him right now. 

I had breakfast and prepped for school. When I opened my locker, I found a green letter attached to my book. I paid it no mind, not wanting my mood to be affected by anything. I would probably read it some other time. 

I walked into my first subject of the day and saw Elliot. It was the first time I've seen him since last night's awkward encounter. I approached him and apologized for what happened, hoping to smooth things over. To my relief, he assured me that he was fine and even smiled genuinely to prove it.

The bell rang, and we made our way to the cafeteria. As we were walking, I spotted TJ and immediately felt anxious. He glanced over at us and started to approach, but he was stopped by a cheerleader. I guessed she was the tutor he was talking about after yesterday's beach volleyball match.

Feeling a little more at ease, I reached out and grabbed Elliot's left hand. He looked at me and returned my gesture with a genuine smile. We walked past TJ and the others, ignoring their teasing when they saw us holding hands. In the corner of my eye, I noticed Ivan shove TJ's chest and mutter something under his breath.

We finally made it to our usual spot in the cafeteria, and the others soon caught up with us. Elliot offered to buy me a snack and told me to wait for him. While waiting, Ivan and the others, except for TJ, who was puzzlingly eying me closely, started a conversation.

"Are you and Elliot a thing now?" Ivan asked bluntly, catching me off guard.

TJ's gaze turned towards me after Ivan's question, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. I looked down, unsure of what to say. Should I tell them the truth? That Elliot and I were a "thing"? No, that would be delusional of me.

I tried to play it cool and just smiled awkwardly, hoping the conversation would change soon.

"Leave him alone, It's not like we're together yet," Elliot answered, emphasizing the word "yet."

The others still looked confused, and Ivan followed up, "But you were holding his hand?"

"And I liked it," Elliot fired back. "I'm bi-sexual, been hitting on Apol just now," he admitted in front of everybody.

My teammates were surprised by the revelation, and I was speechless the whole time he confessed his sexuality in front of our teammates. I looked at him, worried about his facial expression, but he smiled at me.

"You're so cool, dude!" Ivan patted him on the back and then hugged him, and the others did the same.

"Thank you for being honest with us," Ivan said, and the others agreed.

I was holding Elliot's hand when he bravely outed himself, giving him courage. I felt so proud of him, and I was smiling and feeling overwhelmed the whole time. TJ excused himself from our table and did not return. I shrugged off whatever I felt towards him, as I planned to focus on Elliot, who had outspokenly told everyone that he was pursuing me.

"At least he sees me as I am, unlike others who just want to get me laid," I thought.

Everyone seemed to be supportive and moved on. We talked about the upcoming exam and other stuff regarding volleyball.

The bell then rang, and Elliot and I went our separate ways since we had different classes after lunch.

Fast forward, it was time for practice, and as we stepped onto the court, it was a surreal feeling. Everybody knew that someone was looking after me. My teammates did not tease me anymore, and Elliot was overprotective and acted sweet the whole time. I felt so happy and motivated to do all the drills and my usual volleyball routine.

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Author's Note:

Hey y'all I'm back

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