Veiled Lust

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***

"I'm fucking pregnant...?"

The doctor furrowed her eyebrows together and pursed her lips before opening her mouth to speak. "Yes, you're pregnant."

I ran my fingers through my hair while throwing my back against the chair and sighing rather loudly. The doctor tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes to get a better look at me. What the fuck was she looking at?

"Ms. Collins, is everything ok at home? Are you being abused?" What?

I glanced down at where she was staring only to see swollen marks on my neck from when Nico almost fucking murdered me. Ah fuck, I kept on forgetting to cover them up. No big deal though... to me.

"No. It was an accident."

"Are you sure? Is there someone you want me to call?"

I quickly interrupted the woman and rested my elbows on my knees. "Look, I'm a little more concerned about this demon child that I have growing inside of me." Ok, maybe I didn't mean to say exactly that.

"Ms. Collins-"

"I'm sorry, this is just a lot..." The realization began to hit me as I zoned out and thought about all the possible outcomes of telling Nico. He could kill me... he probably would kill me. I could get an abortion without him ever knowing, but I wouldn't even be able to look at him again if I did that. "This is hell."

"Do you need anything? There are other alternatives you can take..."

"Where's the nearest abortion clinic...?" I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. "Nico's going to kill me." I mumbled under my breath before gripping the sides of the chair.

"Is that figuratively or literally?" I looked up at the doctor who was scribbling something on a piece of paper next to her while I stared at her blankly.

"Literally." I saw the fear in her eyes and held back a laugh. "I'm joking." Not. If only she knew.

"Oh... how humorous." The doctor took a deep breath before looking back at her paper and laptop. "Do you still want the name of the nearest abortion clinic?"

"Yes." It would be good to at least have an idea of where the goddamn place was.

***

In my car, I sat in the parking lot of the abortion clinic with a sandwich in one hand and another on the wheel. I would have a cigarette, but I was a little too scared to do anything at the moment.

The earliest I am able to get the procedure is 4 weeks, but I just wanted to be able to see the location. I was only one week pregnant anyways.

The building looked plain... and scary. There was no one that I could actually consult on this matter because I didn't even know if I was keeping it or not. My mother would probably have a heart attack if I even mentioned abortion. Probably worse...

I took another bite out of my stuffed sandwich and pressed my lips together. This was going to change my life... wasn't it? No matter what decision I plan on making.

Money isn't what I have to worry about, I was sure my mother and father would offer unconditional support... it was Nico and I that I was worried about. He's not ready to have a child.

I tossed the wrapper of my sandwich to the passenger seat before starting the engine and swerving away from the building. My mind was racing and my heart was heavy in my chest. I have a goddamn human inside of me.