Veiled Lust

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***

I had to step outside to catch a smoke before heading back to the crowd. Mary somehow managed to host a funeral at her own home, don't ask me how. I exhaled a long cloud of smoke as I stood in our garden with one hand in the pocket of my black coat. I looked too mysterious. My hair was up in a ponytail and I had a pair of black shades on my face. I looked exactly like some whack FBI agent.

The feeling of the smoke entering my mouth was becoming one of my favorite activities, the nicotine providing an almost instant buzz of relaxation. My mind had been so preoccupied with Julian's mom, I didn't even have time to think about the whole situation with Nico. Maybe that was for the best.

I made my way back towards the crowd of weeping people and felt intense sorrow deep inside my bones. These people were crying because of something I did... but what choice did I have?

As I mingled into the crowd, my mother grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into a corner.

"Sage, I would like you to meet Jude Hems. Her mother is one of my old friends from college, Sandra Hems." Jude Hems? Looking over to the boy who was standing with his mother, our eyes locked and my stomach dropped. Are you kidding? "Is something wrong Sagie?"

Yeah, I somehow manage to bring work into my personal life every fucking day.

"No, I thought I recognized him for a second."

Jude was playing along perfectly, his hand extending out to meet mine as we greeted each other like it was the first time.

"Nice to meet you, Sage. I've heard lots of great things about you."

"Yes, same to you." I awkwardly bounced between the heels of my feet and my toes as I tried not to lose myself. I was so close to completely going insane.

"Right, well why don't you guys try to get to know each other better while we continue to comfort all these crying people." Mary rolled her eyes at the crowd of crying people. Maybe that's where I got my insensitivity from.

"Wow, I'm seeing this correctly, right?" Jude nudged me on the shoulder, a bright smile occupying his appealing face.

"Yeah, you're seeing correctly." A smile crept through my body as well, his optimistic personality almost addictive.

"How is life going for you?" That was a difficult question.

I shrugged my shoulders while breaking eye contact with Jude in front of me. I didn't want to have to go through every single detail about Nico and all the events that followed. I didn't have to.

Completely ignoring Jude's question, I instead offered an alternate option to this never-ending funeral. "Want to go for a ride?" Jude didn't hesitate with his answer, his head bopping up and down before I began to speed walk towards my car.

As Jude climbed into the passenger seat, I turned on the engine and we were on our way. "You don't think our parents are going to get suspicious?"

"No, the most they will do is look for 5 minutes before giving up." Jude let out an immature laugh at my comment as he threw his head back against the seat and let the wind carry his hair in different directions.

There was a different kind of adrenaline rushing through my body, the innocent kind. I felt like a middle schooler sneaking out of the house for the first time. It was a feeling I wouldn't deny I missed.

The wind scattered my hair all over the place as well as I reached in the backseat and pulled one bottle of whiskey out from the back. This was a bottle I hid from Nico so that he would stop drinking liquor in my house. The things I did for him.