Veiled Lust

(21)

Don't forget to comment, vote, and follow <3

***

I stayed silent for quite some time, staring blankly at Nico while he continued to carry me upright against the wall. What was I supposed to say to this? There were so many factors I have had to consider and I told him myself I wasn't ready for commitment. Loving someone was the definition of commitment.

"Nico-you don't." Trying to sound lighthearted, a small smile curled from the corner of my lips. "You value me." Nico tilted his head to the side, giving me a look of confusion. "I... just don't say you love me. You don't."

"I don't like people, Sage. Everyone is an asshole and you aren't. You make me feel like I'm on top of the world amore-" I quickly cut him off, my heart starting to rapidly race. If he wanted me to say it back, he wasn't going to get it.

"This is lust Nico." I pushed myself out of his grip, my feet touching the ground and my hands running through my hair. "What we have is lust." Now I took a step back, Nico's body leaning against the corner of the wall as he folded his arms into his chest.

"This is not lust Sage, stop lying to yourself. You know there's a connection between us..."

"That can happen with lust too Nico!" I wavered my hands in the air as I spoke. This relationship was in no way emotionally driven, it was all psychically driven. It was sex.

"I've been with a lot of goddamn women Sage, none of them are you." His words seemed to be going in one ear and coming out the other because I was not fully processing anything he was saying to me. All I knew was that I could not say those words back. I didn't know what it was like to love someone, how would I love him even if I wanted to?

"You're different too Nico, you don't hear me going up to random people that I have a connection with and fucking saying I love you." I slapped my hand onto my mouth, watching as Nico's expression quickly turned into sadness. Shit.

"Oh ok, I get it now. I'm just a random person you have a connection with." Nico took his body off of the wall, walking over to the front door. I knew that leaving the conversation like this would be even worse.

"Nico... Nico. I'm sorry." I grabbed him by the arm, my hand quickly being thrown back down to my side.

"No Sage. Tell me, are you sleeping with any other people?" I could tell my earlier accusation had hurt him, his eyes turning dark before he looked down to the ground.

"What? No! Of course not w-" Nico spun around, grabbing me by the neck and pressing me against the wall once again. He caught me off guard, my mouth slightly gasping for air as he narrowed his eyes onto my face.

"Why aren't you sleeping with other guys?"

"Because that would be mean, I like you. I don't know!" Nico was now grinning, licking his lips before pressing into my neck harder.

"You're in love with me." I watched him intensely as he brought his face inches away from mine, purposely brushing our noses together. What was he getting at?

"What are you doing?"

"You can only deny it for so long, Sage." Did I love him? I shook my head side to side hard, trying to get rid of my second guesses. He was making me question everything.

Nico grabbed the back of my hair, pulling it down so that I would stop moving. I stared at him with a clenched jaw as loose strands of hair fell over my face. My breathing was staggered and he fixed his head straight as his eyes looked down at me.

"You're crazy about me. Why do you think you haven't killed me yet? Aren't you still on that case amore?"

Right now, I hated him. I hated him so much for speaking the truth. I hadn't killed him yet, and I don't think I would ever be able to. Of course, I wouldn't tell him that. Glaring back at him, I ran my tongue along my teeth before smirking.