The following evaluation is just a perspective. All details are just my opinion. I might praise the story or say things that are not that pleasant to know. These, however, do not define the worth of the book nor the author. Readers have their own preferences. I am only giving a detailed analysis and assessment that may help improve the story. It is not my intention to offend or hurt anyone. If any part of this critique did, I sincerely apologize. Lastly, the author has the right to follow or not follow any suggestions I would give; to agree or disagree with my remarks.
Thank you so much for entrusting this critique to me. It is truly an honor.
Warning: Spoilers ahead!
Legend:
🏅 - 👍 or ❤️
💤 - neutral or 👎
🏳️ - suggestions or corrections
Note: The following critique is limited only up to the latest part (Chapter X).
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TITLE
🏅Okay lang pero hindi ganoon ka-unique.
COVER
💤The elements somehow do not match each other.
🏳️Siguro opt to tumblrish style or minimalistic.
DESCRIPTION
🏅Simple but the structure is okay; and, pasado na.
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🏅Love the quotes per chapter
💤Para sa 'kin, weak ang style na ibinagsak sa unang kabanata ang maraming parte ng nakaraan. Paunti-unti sana. I-thread kumbaga. The story deals with the past. So, medyo plain kung maraming nabanggit about dito. Since about lang naman sa painting, sana ang event sa life niya with Greg na may connection sa bangka lang ang ni-reveal. Later parts na sana ang iba pa tapos ay utay-utay. Although alam ko naman na hindi pa 'yon lahat, masyado lang madaming nasabi.
🏳️May kaunting error sa grammar, but tolerable naman. Hindi naman disturbing habang nagbabasa. May iilang ding maling gamit ng bantas katulad ng hyphen na ginamit bilang dash. Mayroong maling form of the word like "I met his gazed." Hindi verb ang gaze sa sentence na 'yan, hence wala dapat -d. Polish na lang.
🏳️Ang simula ng attribution ay laging lowercase kahit pa question mark o exclamation point ang bantas na ginamit sa dialogue except pag nagsisimula sa "I" or proper nouns.
🏅Maganda ang pagkakalathala ng bawat talata. Hindi sumobra ang gamit ng mga tayutay o ang pagkakadetalye. Sapat lamang para klarong maiparating ang scenario.
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🏅Maganda naman ang build-up since simula
💤However, sobrang expected na. Nothing new. I know naman na emotional ang atake nito at mainly about forgiveness. Wala nga lang charm iyong conflict. And sana rising action pa lang 'to hindi pa ang climax kasi medyo plain.
🏳️Suggestion kong conflict is although nagkaro'n ng forgiveness at balikan, what if di na mag-work ang relationship? Mahal pa rin nila isa't isa but four years is long. Nag-mature na sila. Nag-grow individually. Differences na sa ideologies, personalities, etc. Something internal problem sa relationship. Don't go for the cliché ones like third party. In regards to the conflict of society/fam not accepting them, let them survive it. Like, naging problem siya pero masosolve at matatanggap na sila fully. Kasi second chance na ito e. So siguro mas applicable kung medyo focus sa relationship nila at hindi sa external factors. Plus, ilang years na rin silang magkakilala since bata pa sila so the test of strength ay hindi na talaga about the people around them. Pero depende naman sa'yo. Opinion ko lang.
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🏅Good. Maraming inner conflict si Marcus about Greg. It made the character believable.
🏅Nairita ako onti kay Greg everytime na sinasabi niya na magbalikan na sila. Laging si iyak. Effective character naman though.
🏅I like that you gave Marcus friends similar to them [I don't know what pronoun to use so I just opted to neutral.]
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Hindi ko masyadong naenjoy ang flow ng story pero natuwa naman ako sa way of writing ni author. Ayon... I hope you finish this well. Keep writing and God bless!
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Again, all details were just my opinion. It is not my intention to offend or hurt anyone. If any part of this critique did, I sincerely apologize. Lastly, the author has the right to follow or not follow any suggestions I had given; to agree or disagree with my remarks. Thank you so much for trusting me to evaluate this story. It is truly an honor.
