Title: The Viral
By: migharry
Genre: Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Language: Filipino and English
Disclaimer: I am not a professional critic.
All details are just my opinion. I might be wrong; I might be right. I just provide A PERSPECTIVE that may help you improve your story. Kung paniniwalaan mo man o hindi, susundin mo o hindi, kaiinisan mo or hindi, ay depende na sa'yo.
Warning: The following contain word/s, phrases, sentences or paragraphs that may or may not hurt you. Please read at your own risk.
Legend:
🏅 - 👍 or ❤️
💤 - 👎
🏳️ - suggestions or corrections
🖇️🖇️🖇️🖇️🖇️
Overall rating: 5.5/10
🖇️🖇️🖇️🖇️🖇️
*TITLE
🏅 Okay lang naman. On-point naman siya sa subject ng kwento.
💤 It doesn't stand out - nothing special, walang charm. It can be better.
*COVER
💤It is not seamless. Hindi well-blended ang elements. Contrast is not good - font is too bright.
🏳️Choose a thicker/darker red color. I-match mo 'yong warm/cool tone, brightness and contrast, or shadow and highlight para maging seamless ang cover.
💤Not spooky enough
*DESCRIPTION
[Original]
Si Mitch De Guzman, isang college student at vlogger na humangad na mag-viral ang bawat video na pino-post niya sa social media.
Sa kanyang simpleng nakasanayan na pamumuhay bilang isang masayang dalaga, kasama ang kaniyang mga kaibigan, ay magbabago ang lahat nang sila ay namasyal sa Quezon, Province.
Takot, kaba, ligalig, lahat ng ito ay naranasan ng magkakaibigan.
Sino ang susunod? Sino ang salarin?
Can they still survive the nightmare they entered?
A viral video that will change Mitch's life but behind this viral video is a terrifying experience she will never forget.
💤Hindi smooth ang structure and may parts na di naman na kailangan. Honestly, magsesettle na ako kahit itong last paragraph lang ang nakalagay. Ang mga one-liner question kasi na ginamit ay may low impact and common na. Plus, sa pagkakaintindi ko sa story, naunang may mag-viral siyang video before ang pagpunta sa Quezon Province and nag start na din ang horrors before pa ang sila bumisita don. So, I think the structure of this description kinds of confuses the plot.
[Edit]
Mitch De Guzman is a college student and an aspiring vlogger. More than anything, she wanted her videos to beget millions of views, likes, comments, and shares online. But as one of her videos finally went viral, she found herself trapped behind the terrors it took for the post to blow up.
🏳️I made a short but concise description eliminating the unnecessary and off-putting hooks or details. Important detail naman iyong friends and Quezon Province part but I don't think necessary pang isama ang specific details na 'yon since may iba pa rin namang conflict na nagstart na before going to the Province. Nabanggit naman sa version na' to iyong "behind the terrors it took." It already sums up the conflict without giving too much detail para naman sa story na mismo malaman ng readers iyong iba pa. Ikaw na lang rin bahala if gagamitin mo iyong suggested edit, insipiration lang, or not at all.
*Language & Style
🏳️I think prologue part iyong first part ng episode 1 mo - the scene before the flashback. Naka 3rd Person POV din naman ito, kaiba sa majority ng buong chapter na nasa first person POV. So sana hiniwalay na lang din.
