Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Renegade

Username: @PaulaPepso

Chapters: Five 

Genre: Paranormal/Action 

Specific: N/A 

Book

Cover - 

The cover has a errie vibe, and fits with the paranormal genre. I wouldn't necessarily say it fits with the action genre, but I can see that the red powder is a part of their wielder magic.  

Blurb - 

Half the blurb is in the past tense and the other is in the present. This works well, considering you're talking about the actions that happened in the past. However, I would stick to one tense.

I did read that the present tense is most commonly used for blurbs because it conveys a sense of vitality to the reader. It makes it easier for the reader to connect with the story. Of course, it's up to you as you know what is better for the story and knows how to convey your blurb in its best light. 

Grammar - 

(Chapter One) 

Your grammar is superb. Tenses are great and you have a wide range of vocabulary. 

I did notice that you use the word 'slid' twice and 'sliding,' 'slip.' 

These all have the same meaning, more or less, and are all s verbs.  I wondered if you could perhaps use synonyms to get the same meaning across. 

Your example...

"She slid back up on her cot..."

You could have glided, crept, slithered, edged, eased. This is just to show the variety of 'sliding.'

A suggestion could be...

"She slithered back up her mattress..." 

(Chapter Five) 

You use 'burned' three times in a paragraph. 

Your example...

"Her back had burned," 

"...the tears running down her cheeks had burned," 

"even her throat had burned..." 

"She had wanted them to burn as well..."

Other synonyms are blazed, scorched, seared...instead of using burned a numourours times. 

Punctuation - 

(Chapter Four) 

The only issue with punctuation is when you add a comma after an em dash or dash. 

Your example...

"...assault on CS officials and illegal use of their abilities -," 

This should be...

"...assault on CS officials and illegal use of their abilities - but he couldn't..."