Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

SACRED THE ORIGINALS

Author: @Viratkohliindia

Chapters: 3 chapters because some were fairly long, and I went into depth

Genre: Fanfiction, Supernatural

Specific: Anything

Cover-

I love the cover. It's very fitting to the story as it centres towards the main character, Talia. The only thing I would suggest would be to make the title stand out more as some of the letters aren't clear. You would want the title to stand out loud and clear.

Blurb-

You have a good summary of the book which is kept simple.

The only thing I noticed was the use of punctuation. Comma's and full stops should come straight after the word with no space in between.

"...working as a bartender at Rousseau's in New Orleans ,"

This should be...

"...working as a bartender at Rousseau's in New Orleans,"

"...bestie with Camille O'Connel ."

This should be...

"...bestie with Camille O'Connel."

Grammar-

Chapter One

It starts as Talia's POV. This means the text is written in the first person as it is from Talia's perspective.

"...New Orleans is my home."

"...that colleague is my best friend."

Then halfway through the chapter, you switch to the third person.

"The moment Talia walked into Rousseau's..."

This can be a little confusing to the readers. I would suggest keeping chapter one as Talia's perspective and then use the third person for the other chapters. I wouldn't use both in the same chapter though. (Obviously, it's up to you.)

There is nothing wrong with this sentence, but I feel like it could be rewritten to make it clearer.

"New Orleans is my home from 20 years. I am born and brought up in New Orleans."

A suggestion could be...

"I've been in New Orleans for twenty years, which is all of my life."

This makes the text shorter but still keeps the context of everything you said.

This is more of a tip but try to remember to use capital letters for names. There are some instances where you don't capitalize their names. I'm sure this is a minor issue as most of the time you do use capitals.

I would suggest changing "please drop this 20 question..." to "please drop these twenty questions..."

Using numerals can sometimes make the text informal. When writing, we should try to use the number in written form.

Punctuation

"And currently I'm running late for work as usual ."

Remember to put the full stop after "usual." I figured these are small typos but pointing them out allows you to correct them for the future.

Another example is...

"I'm getting a degree in human psychology but in order to keep my body and soul together I have to work and guess what I work at the city's most famous place..."