Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Sanity

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: -saeris 

Genre: Romance/ mystery in Fanfiction

Chapters: 5 chapters 

Specific: Is it interesting enough and a page-turner for readers? Or is it slow? How can I make things better? What major problems are there?

Book  

Cover - 

I like the cover. It's simple and fits in with this particular Fanfiction. 

Blurb - 

I thought more could be added to the blurb. It's too brief, and although I read five chapters, I wouldn't have gotten anything from the blurb. I know I've only read five chapters, but there needs to be a correlation between the blurb and the story. 

From the first five chapters, these are the points I gathered: 

- Taehyung works as a prosecutor in an office with his best friend who is an investigator. 

- His girlfriend is mysteriously sick and we don't know why. 

- They both need to talk as a couple rather than lie and hide things from each other. 

The blurb you have at the moment is too vague. 

Your blurb...

"A boy who's trauma bonded to a soul, he can't seem to move on from. A girl who's burning out little by little while paying for her sin of mere existence." 

You don't introduce any of the main characters. What's the trauma related to? I don't understand the 'bonded to a soul' part. 

The girl is 'burning out little by little,' so I'm guessing her mystery illness could be from exhaustion. Perhaps she is lying and keeping a secret about a sin she has committed. (This is what I assume anyway). 

The blurb sort of has to be blunt and straightforward because the readers aren't mind readers. It's easy as an author to know what the story/plot is about because they wrote it, but as a reader, they are starting from point zero. That's why a blurb is important to entice and let the reader know what the book is about. 

A suggestion would be to introduce the main characters and give a glimpse of what the plot is about. Where is the setting? What is his job? Then add some sort of conflict, and perhaps pose a question or cliffhanger at the end that gets the reader guessing. It could be related to him being wrongly accused (this ties it back to the prologue). 

Grammar - 

(Chapter One) 

Your example...

"That man who refuses to tell his name." 

Instead of "tell his name," you could use 'say his name.'

Your example would work if it's displayed like this... "That man who refuses to tell me his name." 

A suggestion could be... 

"That man who refuses to say his name." 

So both suggestions could work depending on a few details. 

(Chapter Two)