Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Ocean Blue Eyes

Username:  latenitesnacks

Genre: LGBTQ mature

Chapters: 7 chapters

Specific: General feedback & thoughts

Book

Cover-

I don't really understand the cover. I get that the ocean is a part of describing his eyes and perhaps the man on the cover is Noah, becoming lost in his ocean blue eyes. I have to say, it didn't really capture my interest when I first saw it. It was only until I read the book that I tried to piece the title and the cover together from the clues of the story itself.

Blurb-

I thought the blurb was okay, but I personally feel like you could improve it by adding more details. You could mention Carter (his best friend) and the possible romantic interest, Iris. This captures the reader instantly as they have more information to go on.

Your example...

"I curse at my inability to speak to attractive human beings, only me. Ugh!"

This implies that this has happened before and there have been other attractive men that he hasn't been able to talk to. But I didn't get that impression from his character whilst reading. By including Iris in the blurb, I feel like it will put a spotlight on the man in question.

A suggestion could be...

"I curse at my inability to speak to attractive guys, Iris being one of them."

This is only a suggestion, so please do what feels best for you. Hope you understand where I'm coming from.

🌸

Asides from this, there were a few minor errors.

Your blurb...

"Everything was going great: Good grades on my third year of college, amazing friends, and the best year of my life. Nothing could fuck it up. Until the words were already out of my mouth, floating to the ears of the hottess guy I've ever seen "Hi, ah, yes, you can just put your key in me."

What. The. Fuck. Noah? Just what the heck did you just say!? I curse at my inability to speak to attractive human beings, only me. Ugh!"

1-  You switch tenses from past to present. Ideally, you should stick to the present tense when writing a blurb.

2- A few punctuation errors.

A suggestion could be something like this...

"Everything is going great. I have good grades in my third year of college, amazing friends with an asshole of a best friend, Carter, and I'm living the best year of my twenty-three-year-old self. Nothing can fuck it up until I say the most mortifying words to the hottest man I have ever seen.

"Ah, yes, you can just put your key in me."

What the actual fuck! Noah, what the heck did you just say? I curse at my inability to speak to attractive guys, Iris being one of them."

* This is just as an example, but by adding in more detail about Noah's life can give it some spice. I also forgot how old Noah is.

Grammar-

I didn't notice anything major concerning grammar. Your tenses were consistent all the way through.

Some of the inner dialogue and narration were informal, but I take that as a personal style choice. It added to Noah's personality and his character.