Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

I still want you {Book Two}

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: humnaaahmed 

Genre: Romance 

Chapters: 5 chapters 

Specific: N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

I actually like the cover; the image is better than the previous book as I believe it fits the genre more. 

Blurb - 

I feel like the blurb reveals a little too much. Like we're instantly hit with dialogue that hints they are married, yet in the first book, they broke up because Vanessa found Tyler in bed with Amber. 

I would start the blurb from where the first book left off - don't reveal any major points that are spoilers. You can talk about how Vanessa had to move on due to heartbreak and how Tyler is rebellious after what happened. Then you can re-introduce the two characters coming into contact once again and start up their friendship from there. But to have the mention of husband and wife in the blurb, well... there's no point in me reading the rest of the book if I know they get married. If you see what I mean. 

Grammar - 

(Chapter Three) 

I would avoid using block capitals to show emphasis. It does the opposite. You can use action tags to describe what is happening and talk about the tone of voice instead. 

Your examples...

"YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER ME!" 

"NO ONE TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT. HOW DARE YOU?"

 A suggestion could be...

"No one talks to me like that." He screamed, pinning me hard against the wall with a look of fury reflected in his eyes. "How dare you?" My legs buckled beneath me from the ferocious tone in his voice." 

Bad example, but you get the idea. 

Punctuation - 

I didn't see many errors, but I would still watch out for the semi-colons and commas. (It's pretty much the same as the previous book). 

Character Development/ Plot - 

(Chapter One) 

I'm so confused. So, her mother will lose the business if Vanessa doesn't get married. I get that part, but why does it have to be Tyler? I thought her mother was angry at Tyler for cheating on her daughter. You even mention that she didn't want Vanessa talking to him ever again and that Alice was considering not talking to Tyler's parents since they are friends.

Now she has a change of heart at a flip of a coin and is sort of forcing Vanessa to get married to the backstabbing, cheating ex-boyfriend, Tyler. I feel like the plot is recycled from the first book and you've forced the marriage thing a little too much because they 'have to be together.' 

But honestly, you could have Vanessa bump into Tyler at the supermarket, at a party or at a cafe. Maybe a mutual friend, such as Noah, can hook them up. I'd rather see them build on what they had, rather than be pushed into something for the sake of a business, which didn't end well the first time.