Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

DESTINED QUEEN

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: _faithfully_ 

Genre: Fantasy 

Chapters: 5 chapters 

Specific: N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

I didn't have any issues with the cover. It's nice and relates to the title and story. 

Blurb - 

The blurb is good. It's not bad. The only issue is punctuation and the blurb should be written in the present tense. 

Your example...

"Two sisters, Princess Aileen and Princess Luna had been separated when the both of them were still young. Fifteen years later, fate had lead them together. After they reclaimed the peace of their kingdom. One of them must decide who will become the queen to rule Cardonia." 

A suggestion could be...

"Two sisters, princess Aileen and princess Luna, are separated since birth. Fifteen years later, fate has led them together. After they reclaim the peace of their kingdom, only one can decide who will become the queen to rule Cardonia."  

Grammar - 

(Prologue) 

Your example...

"The little princesses was sleeping peacefully in their cradle." 

A suggestion would be...

"The little princesses were sleeping peacefully in their cradle." 

🌸

Your example...

"The king reclined on the doorway, and a smile was formed at his face when he looked at his queen." 

You have some of your prepositions wrong. These are 'in, at, on, of, as.' 

Try not to use 'was' all the time. Since you're writing in the past tense, you can continue this without 'was' in some places. The more you write, the better you will get at noticing when and when not to use 'was.' 

A suggestion could be...

"The king reclined in the doorway and smiled when he saw his queen." 

Or...

"The king reclined in the doorway. A smile formed when he looked at his queen." 

You don't need the 'a smile formed on his face' because when you smile, it's a facial expression. So you don't need to explain that the smile was on his face. 

🌸

You need help remembering to stay consistent within the past tense. I've noticed you use 'was' quite a fair bit, but the past tense also entails 'ed' at the end of words.