Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Mafia's Revenge

Author: @4lairr

Chapters read: 5 chapters 

Genre: Adult Romance (mature-rated) 

Character Development:  

You express this well. Right from the first chapter, you show a very intense and brief insight into the two main characters. I immediately feel like Rafaela tries to pretend she is someone she isn't to please her master. It's nice how you describe both sides of Rafaela. We see the strong side of her and her weaker side, which makes her relatable. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be in her shoes. 

It's nice how you include her inner thoughts, which lets the reader into her way of thinking in this horrible situation. You give off tiny details about how the men tortured her every day, that gives us a small insight into what Rafaela has been through. 

You do a superb job with describing the Master as a powerful and dirty man that gets his way. 

What you could improve within character development: 

You have a solid development in your main characters, but I didn't understand her past. You could talk more about Rafaela's past. You mentioned she couldn't remember her parents or what happened to her. What is the last thing she remembered? Just some more small details about her past before she met the Master could help strengthen her development. 

You could also describe what Rafaela looks like. We have no descriptions. Is she tall, thin, black hair? Having said that, you describe the Master with excellent detail. Well done <3 

Plot Development: 

Since I only read five chapters, I won't go into much detail here. 

I loved how you started with how Rafaela met him and how he turned her world upside down. The first few chapters sounded pretty much the same that wasn't really moving the story forward. 

However, the fifth chapter was a game-changer and was brilliant. I almost wished you brought that fifth chapter in sooner (maybe in the third or fourth chapter). 

We start to really see a plot thickening in the fifth chapter, where she has to choose a path to kill the man to receive her freedom. The suspense was very good, and you left on a cliff-hanger. I love a good cliff-hanger, and you killed it. <3 (excuse the pun). 

Grammar: 

Your grammar was very good. I only found a few minor spelling mistakes, which is great. Your sentence structure sounded fine to me too. So, I can't fault you here. Well done <3 

Writing Style: 

I love your writing style. You convey her emotions in a lovely way through your writing. You have developed a sense of voice for Rafaela as the descriptions are highly descriptive and convey emotions. Well done <3  

Enjoyment: 

I really love your story from the beginning to the last chapter I read. 

Thank you for letting me review your book. Please check "The Mafia's Revenge" if you've got time.