Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

How It All Goes

  (Bookworms Community reviews)

Author: @atzirybe

Chapters: 12 chapters, including Prologue

Genre: Fanfiction

Specific: Overall Enjoyment/ Plot and overall thoughts

Cover-

Your cover is okay and simple, and maybe the roses symbolise something. Friendship, maybe. 

Blurb-

Your blurb is a little too long as it's very detailed and you pretty much explain everything that happens. There are some sentences you don't necessarily need.

For example, "The beautiful and charming stranger that has caught Alex's eye turns out to be on the same flight to Hawaii as her and Makenzie."

You already said in the paragraph above that Noah has "beautiful puppy eyes," and you don't need to explain that they are on the same flight. It ruins the surprise. Why read the book if the reader already knows how they met, where they meet, and what will happen?

Leave a few details out for the imagination of the readers. 

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

"I quietly make my way to our room and the first thing that my eyes wander to is the door left open."

There isn't anything particularly wrong with this sentence, apart from the missing comma after "room". I do think it's a little wordy.

Tip- Try to remove all the unnecessary words and keep what you're trying to say as simple as you can. You can always add more descriptive words like tip toe, sneakily.

My suggestion could be...

"I make my way to our room and notice the door is wide open."

✿

Your example...

"Veronica gets home 20 minutes later."

Normally, we should use words instead of numerals.

I didn't know this either until somebody told me.

My suggestion would be...

"Veronica gets home twenty minutes later."

Punctuation-

Your example...

"Oh, so she thinks this is funny??"

I see a lot of writers do this where they add the extra !!! or ??? but this is grammatically incorrect. You just need to use one, and it serves the same purpose.

✿

Your example...

"Well you would've said no, obviously" she says as she rolls her eyes at me."

You are just missing a few commas in this sentence.

When somebody says "she/he says" there should be a comma to separate the speech from the dialogue tag.

My suggestion would be...

"Well, you would've said no, obviously," she says as she rolls her eyes at me."