Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Mute Angel from Heaven

Author: @Evangeline273

Chapters: 3 chapters

Genre: Fantasy/ Romance

Specific: None

Cover-

Your cover is simple. The only thing I would say is you need to include the title on the cover and your username/pen name. Otherwise, nobody will know what the book is called, and it doesn't look appealing from the first glance. The cover is what attracts readers to read your book.

Blurb-

"Two people with troubles, come across each other one day. And they can't seem to stop running into each other. "

I would suggest writing this differently, to sound more appealing.

My suggestion would be...

"Two people with their fair share of troubles cross paths one day, but since that day, they can't stop running into each other."

Of course, you don't have to use my suggestion, but use something to that effect.

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"Nevertheless, did he think he would fall for her. But lately, he can't seem to get her out of his thoughts. And he never would have thought he was helping her too."

You have the same issue with this paragraph too. It can be worded differently.

My suggestion would be...

"He certainly never expected to fall in love, but lately he can't stop thinking about her. If only he knew that he was helping her too."

Again, something to that effect. Personally, I think it flows a little better.

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"Recently, he's all she thinks about. She didn't realize that he was helping her as well."

The third paragraph has a lot of similar sentences as the second paragraph. I would change the last sentence.

A suggestion could be...

"Brooke grew fascinated with Jace, the more time she spent with him, the closer she became attached. She didn't realise she was helping him in more ways than one."

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

Your example...

"He openly gapes, opening and closing his mouth like a fish..."

You use two very similar words close together. "openly" and "opening"

I would suggest removing "openly" as it isn't really needed.

My suggestion would be this...

"He gapes, opening and closing his mouth like a fish..."

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Your example...

"Okay, maybe she was tall. I couldn't tell what was tall for girls, but I'd put her at around 5'9. Six whole inches shorter than myself."

Try to not use "was" as this is changing the tenses.