Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

UnRuly

(I'm so very sorry that the review is posted late. I haven't been that active on Wattpad because of personal reasons)

Author: @Princess__LC

Chapters: 3 chapters

Genre: Werewolf/ Supernatural

Specific: Everything

Book

Cover-

I think the cover is great. It may not be that enticing for me and what I mean by that is, I probably won't be inclined to pick it up based on the front cover.

However, I can see that it fits with the theme. I'm presuming the castle is one of the kingdoms.

Even the font looks pretty. You might want to make your name a little bigger, and I can't read the writing underneath.

Good job!

Blurb-

The blurb is okay. I would make one or two short paragraphs, rather than having a line space between each sentence. This makes it choppy, I guess. Apart from that, I can't see a major issue with it.

Grammar-

(Chapter One)

Your example...

"...as a small smile soon stressed passed her lips, reaching her eyes."

I would perhaps change this sentence because it doesn't sound right.

Firstly, small is a weak adjective. A smile is just a smile, but it's the way you describe the scene before which sets the atmosphere and the emotion of the person. Our writing gets stronger and more precise with the vocabulary we use. I'm not a thesaurus but expanding vocabulary can help wonders with your writing.

Secondly, using "stressed" and "passed" beside each other doesn't make sense. Are you trying to convey stress on her face? You could always talk about the wrinkles on her face, her skin colour or her droopy eyes. Does she have chapped lips or black circles around her eyes? These can all signal stress or something similar.

A suggestion could be...

"...as she weakly smiled, highlighting her dimples. The darkened circles under her eyes revealed the stress that had passed in recent days."

Note- You don't have to use my suggestions. I use them for showing purposes about what I would write, hoping they will help.

✿

Because you are writing in the past tense, you should stick to writing in the past tense. You do occasionally change tenses, and that's okay. Tenses are hard, and it's hard to distinguish when we change whilst writing. 

You example...

"His feet begin pushing him towards us causing my mother to grab hold of my hand and turn forward."

A suggestion here could be...

"His feet began closing the distance between us, causing my mother to grab hold of my hand."

✿

Another example is...

"There's a sign that shows that even if you forget."