Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

Death's Embrace

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: Last_Apprentice 

Genre: Dark Fantasy/ Historical Fantasy

Chapters: 5 chapters 

Specific: N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

I really like the cover! It's pretty and the colours work well together. 

Blurb - 

I like the blurb but I feel like some adjustments could be made. Because it's in the third person and you don't include a name, 'he' is overused making it quite repetitive for such a small paragraph. Having said that, it's quite gripping and mysterious. 

Grammar - 

Your grammar is perfect! Great job! 

Punctuation - 

(Chapter One) 

The only major thing I noticed regarding punctuation was the overuse of semi-colons. You do use them correctly when using lists, but sometimes you use them in sentences that would require a comma instead. 

For example...

{"...Feyrik felt useless; hopeless; on the verge of giving up."}

I could be wrong, but it would be better to separate with a comma rather than a semi-colon since 'hopeless' isn't an independent clause on its own. I'm not sure if it's a stylistic choice, but you could always use an em dash to emphasise the 'giving up' part.  

A suggestion would be...

{"...Feyrik felt useless, hopeless and on the verge of giving up."} 

Another example is...

{"I do not want to see that happen again; you're lucky that I was in the room with you."}

A suggestion would be...

{"I do not want to see that happen again. You're lucky that I was in the room with you."} 

(Chapter Two) 

There is the same issue in this chapter. 

An example...

{"The very few who he labelled as his companions were literate, but he wasn't; he wasn't, and he felt as if he was the rotten apple of the group."} 

I'm not sure if the repetition was deliberate or by mistake, but I think you could remove one and emphasise the 'he' in italics rather than use the semi-colon. 

A suggestion could be...

{"The very few who he labelled as his companions were literate, but he wasn't, and he felt as if he was the rotten apple of the group."}

🌸

Your example...