Chloe's Book Reviews {CLOSED/ HIATUS}

The Murder In The Temple

* This review may contain spoilers * 

Username: Queen_of_life_Heba

Genre: Mystery/Thriller/ Fantasy 

Chapters: 4 chapters 

Specific: N/A 

Book 

Cover - 

I really love the cover and I think it suits the genre. I'm also glad you changed the title, too. 

Blurb - 

The blurb is fine. No faults there. 

Grammar - 

Your grammar is spot on! No errors. 

Punctuation - 

Occasionally, I found a full stop within 'he said/she said' dialogue tags when it should be a comma, but because you sometimes did this correctly, I'm guessing these are simple errors that you glossed over. 

Character Development/ Plot - 

(Chapter One) 

Khaemwest was betrayed by what he thought was Nayya, his lover, only to be stabbed in the stomach and left to die. Would he not be able to recognise Nayya's voice to know it wasn't actually her? 

I definitely feel sorry for him. Because he died suddenly, I didn't get to understand what sort of character he is and why someone would want him dead. 

(Chapter Two) 

Pahy-nefer, the detective, has found a body, and upon inspection, found a white object in the dead body's abdomen. Since Khaemwest suffered a brutal death, although apparently, he was a much loved individual, the mystery begins to find whoever murdered him.

(Chapter Three) 

The detectives try to work out the motive for killing Khaemwest. 

I have to say that the pace is well-balanced, and although this story seems very knowledgeable about Ancient Egypt, it's not hard to decipher what's going on. 

In this chapter, we start to see the personalities shine through more; Niankhkhnum gets annoyed easier than Pahy-nefer and isn't afraid to speak his mind. I feel that Pahy-nefer is a little more reserved with his emotions. 

(Chapter Four) 

I feel like the detective's senior is trying to cover up the murder as he wants Pahy-nefer to stop seeking justice. Turns out, the murderers will go to any lengths to stop Pahy-nefer from talking. 

Overall Enjoyment - 

I can tell that you've done a lot of research regarding Ancient Egypt and interwoven parts into the mystery of your story. I've learnt a few things from the glossary, and although I'm residing in Egypt, I only know small details about Ancient Egyptian history. 

There are only four chapters, but the mystery starts to come through early on, and I like that the murder of Khaemwest is at the beginning of the story. 

Things I think you could improve on are: 

Nothing! Besides re-reading to fix the very small comma issue, I couldn't really find anything major to focus on. Excellent work! 

Please remember that this is based solely on my own opinion. If you so wish for the review to be removed in any shape or form, please let me know. 

Please keep writing & I wish you all the best on your writing journey! 

Thank you for requesting the review & I hope it helps you in some way. Please check, "The Murder In The Temple" if you have time.