Sister Circle✔️

14. A Boss About Her Body

If only her sorors knew how much she envied their smaller frame, versus her larger frame. Yes, she was confident in her curves, but sometimes, insecurities crept in, and her body was the first thing she felt unhappy with.

Always being told she was "cute for a big girl" was depressing. What the hell did that even mean? She was always bigger growing up and did not feel self-conscious about it till maybe high school. There everyone raved about the skinny girls and how they would show off their bodies in the smallest of outfits. So what she was bigger, she could wear whatever the smaller girls wore. So she started to. If they sold it in her size, she wore it. She gave two fucks what others said.

Still, now and then, it would hit her. How could she love her body, on the one hand, but hate it at other times?

Unlike Jill, she worked out a lot, just to maintain her weight and not have extra jiggly parts. She walked, she did fitness apps, she logged her food, she wore her waist trimmer, and she drank the teas. Yes, she was kind of obsessed with watching her weight. Not losing weight, she was not worried about that, but she did not want to gain any more weight.

Watching her sorors eat whatever they wanted, while she had to watch what she ate was frustrating. Zavrina was a size two. Jill a size eight. They were not obsessed with their bodies like her. She couldn't even talk about it with them, they would never understand. She had friends from Chicago she still hung out with sometimes, and they understood it because they were bigger like her.

"Sherry always looking fly girl, where do you get these clothes from?" Kaori asked her friend since her freshman year of high school. They decided to attend ISU together and roomed together freshman and sophomore years. Kaori had no interest in Greek life, and she was cool with Sherry joining a sorority, and they remained close. They were about the same size. "You know I need to shop in your closet."

"Ross Dress for Less, girl, I don't shop anywhere special."

"I never find anything cute my size there," Rosaline, her other friend from her hometown said. Rosaline was about a size twenty-four, and she typically wore sweats and a t-shirt. Her hair was always laid, that was her specialty, while Sherry always did her make-up. She just needed to dress better.

"We have to go shopping together. Some stores have things in our size that are cute."

"Your size. We ain't the same size girl, don't pretend to be," Rosaline mumbled.

"Well, anyway, you can wear whatever you want Roz. I'm tired of people trying to shame bigger girls to think we can't wear whatever we want to wear. Look at Lizzo. I mean, she's gorgeous. Period! And not for a big girl, for a beautiful Black woman."

"I wouldn't wear the things she wears...that's just me," Rosaline declared.

"But Sher is right. Girl, you and your MAX ladies should have that as a Sister Circle topic. It's important. Not just to us Black women, but to all women. Teach us how to be proud of our bodies."

Like she was the one to talk about that. She borderlined on being proud and having doubt. She just wanted to be comfortable in the skin she was in, but the constant battle over looking a certain way was real in her head. She brought the subject up with Donte and he immediately brushed her off.

"Babe, you look good. You ain't gotta worry about an ounce on this body. I love it." He grabbed her in a hug. "You're perfect."

"I'm not perfect. I'm just a person with insecurities like everyone else. Mine is my weight."

"Sherry really. You're one of the hottest girls on this campus, hands down. You beautiful, sexy, smart...hell, I'm a lucky guy."

She smiled at him. She never had a problem dating and no guy ever complained about her size. Still, her insecurities did not stem from if a guy liked her or not, it was from liking herself.